Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Monday, June 11, 2012

How I Have Missed Thee

We're coming back! After a very long time away, I have decided to resurrect this very website. For real this time! There is so much to tell and a lot to share that I have learned. Most importantly though if I don't have a creative space to unleash my happiness and hardships then I am going to burst!

Here is a quick summary of what we have been up to in Twinland:

  • Peanut and Jelly Bean are five years old and are starting Kindergarten in August.
  • In April, we had a new addition - a SINGLETON! Our new baby girl will be called Bitsy on the site. (If you are keeping track that makes three girls.) Big sisters are thrilled to have their new baby sister.
  • Twindada started a new job last summer that has been an absolute blessing. After several turbulent years, things seem to be smoothing out.
  • I have been a stay at home mom for five years and a WAHM (work at home mom) for 3 1/2 years. I love being a mommy and having a fun job that helps contribute to the family budget. 
  •  Our dog, Blayney is almost eleven years old and has become a closer part of our family over the past year since the passing of our other dog, Sydney. Blayney is great with the girls and they love her.

What I would like to write about:

  • Peanut, Jelly Bean, and Bitsy of course! (They are saying some seriously funny stuff these days.) 
  • Raising twins, baby care, parenting info
  • Bitsy - The differences in bringing up twins versus bringing up a singleton. 
  • Things I love - products, websites, places.
  • Deals, free samples, coupon codes, etc.
 So stay tuned!


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Mamas Everywhere

I have discovered that I am not the only mama living in the house. Sure, I may be the only one that actually has real live children to rear, but there are a couple other mamas around here practicing with their beloved stash of stuffed babies and critters.

Recently, I have been thinking about the differences between boys and girls. I have two nephews and have always seemed to be around boys more than girls until my little duo came along. Before I had the girls, I had ten family members or friends who gave birth within a year's time and eight of those little ones were boys! Needless to say, I was quite alarmed when the nurse told me that I just had two little pinkies. Life certainly was never the same.

I was always frightened by the concept of having girls. According to several women that I know, raising girls is supposedly much harder and more taxing on a mother than boys. Supposedly, we don't worry about our boys as much as we do our little girls. Now, I am no authority on boys since I don't have any and I really am not even an authority on girls either since mine are so little, so I can't answer this question right now. What I can tell you is that many little girls and many little boys have gender roles built right into them. I don't know why this is and why girls and boys pick up on different things even if they are exposed to the same environment, but I have seen it happen time and time again.

Now as my little girls are almost getting to the old age of two, these little personalities have shaped into what I can only believe is their God-given maternal instincts. Of course, those environmental behaviorists can argue that they see me caring for them and they want to imitate me. I totally buy that and from last week's post, you know that I am watching this very carefully. However, it is the sweet little gestures that I am amazed they will do for each other, for me and twindada and for their little brood of stuffed friends.

Peanut especially assumes the role of big sister (by one big whole minute!) quite well. I don't ever treat her like she is older of course, but she just seems to be a little more take charge and affectionate than Jelly Bean. Just today, when I stepped out of the playroom to answer the phone, I turned around and Peanut had found the box of baby wipes, pulled one out and was proceeding to wipe Jelly Bean's nose for her. (Something we have had to do a lot lately.) Jelly Bean giggled while Peanut rested her hand on Jelly Bean's shoulder and babbled something to her that I can only imagine went something like this, "I am going to wipe your nose. Please blow." (Well, this is what I say to her anyway!)

Another example was last night, twindada was laying on the couch and Peanut gathered up a pillow, blanket and some stuff animals and started laying them all over him. Once he was covered up, she looked at him and said, "Night. Night."

Jelly Bean loves to share her sippy cup with everyone around, but she has to hold it. She will walk up to me and stick out her sippy cup making the funniest expression with her face. All I can see is her top lip curled up and her teeth bucked while she sucks in air. I think she is trying to show me how to do it in case I have never used a sippy cup before. I will pretend like I am drinking from it and she gets the biggest laugh from it. I have also caught her feeding her best friend, "Bear", the once white, now unsightly grayish, squished, floppy head bear that is in a permanent headlock under her right arm. (That reminds me that I need to send in a reconnaissance team to take out Bear so that he can get a good washing...)

Many stuffed animals have been put down for naptime and covered up. If I try to ask them what they are doing, they will say, "Shh" while putting their finger to their mouth. What was I thinking? I could have woken up the monkey!

So it is really cool to see them acting out these maternal instinct skills. I have never considered myself very maternal at all really. Before kids, I enjoyed my niece and nephews and friend's kids, but I would say that I have always been more of a playmate than a mother to any of them. (Probably since I am still kind of a big kid myself.) Once I had children, it was amazing how much my perception changed and my confidence grew about raising children. Certainly not because I had all the answers suddenly, but because they were my children and it was up to me and twindada to decide how they were going to be raised and what was important for our family.

I like the fact that the girls are already exhibiting these personalities and I hope that it means they will be more maternal than me. I am so glad that I am teaching them about how to care for others and hope they grow up to be happy mothers of their own little ones.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Forget The Self Help Books

It has come to my attention that as I think about my personal goals this week, I realize that one thing that won't be a weekly challenge as part of TLC is that I will never read a self help book. It isn't like there aren't good books out there to read, but all that I really need to know about myself, I can learn from my kids.

I was taken back recently at how much my girls are little sponges and literally imitate my words, mannerisms or actions. This is endearing and frightening all at the same time. It really isn't until we have children, do we really know ourselves. They are two little mirrors running around my house and every time I look at them, I realize how much they are learning from me. And by them learning from me, I am learning about myself.

There is this PBS public service announcement where a mom is frantically running around trying to get dinner cooked while the kids are hanging out. It is clear she is stressed out and gets involved in so many tasks that she ends up burning dinner. At that point, she has a decision to make on how she is going to respond to the stress of the moment. Does she scream with frustration? Does she throw something? Does she walk out of the room? She has a decision to make and she better make it a good one. Why? Because the kids are watching.

...gulp...

Ever make the wrong decision?

I know that have. I have gotten mad and stressed out and about ready to freak out and then see two little pairs of eyes watching me. How I deal with stress is really going to shape how they are going to deal with stress. If I don't teach them to take a breath, think through an issue and re-tackle it with a positive attitude, then they will only learn to stomp off, cry, scream or snap at others. If no one teaches them, how can they learn?

Also, I realize that some of the things that I do are quite annoying. Like for instance, if someone is getting into something they are not supposed to get into, I will lead them away from it and if they resist, I will tell them to, "Go!" Well, this seemed like the right thing to do until one day when Peanut approached me, nudged my knee and said, "Go, Go!" My reply was, "No, you go!" She came back with another, "Go, Go" along with a finger pointed at me. Sigh.

Now the girls are telling the dogs to hush all the time. It doesn't matter if the dogs are barking or not. The dogs get told to "Hush!" and I am sure that is quite annoying for them. Where did they learn that at? Me. When the dogs start barking, I will get after them. Again, it seemed like the right thing to do until Jelly Bean pointed her finger (again, the finger point, ugh!) and told Sydney to "Hush!" when the poor dog was just walking across the dining room.

Okay, so I clearly need to stop pointing my fingers. I don't like it when people point their fingers at me - why would I teach them that? Did I know I was teaching them that? No. But that is the point. I don't know what I am teaching them at any given minute. They are going to pick up the good and the bad.

So, while I am teaching them their numbers, colors and ABC's, this year I have to be more mindful of the little things they are learning as well. I want them to know how to handle a stressful situation. I want them to learn how to communicate effectively with others.

How I handle these things makes the difference as to whether the girls learn them or not. And if I am not getting something right, my girls will let me know.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

TLC Coming January 4th, 2009!

As previously posted, in 2009 Bringing Up Twins is kicking off "Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge" on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Here are the details once again:

1. Every Sunday, I will post my one new challenge for the week. It will be a small thing that I am either giving up, a habit that I am trying to adopt or a modification to perhaps a previous challenge that needed tweaking (though I hope this is rare.)

2. Challenges will start officially on Monday and continue indefinitely. Even though there is a new challenge each week, the idea is to build on the challenges. Therefore, week 1 challenge continues even when week 2 challenge begins. I am trying to build habits and make small changes that will produce effective results for overall goals.

3. Bringing Up Twins readers are invited to participate in the challenges each week or follow their own challenge. I know my goals may not be the same as others, so if you would like to be a part of TLC, but don't like the challenges, by all means, create your own and go for it!

4. I will share my previous week's results with you all and invite you to do the same. When I post the new challenge on Sunday, I will share my results of the previous week's challenge and any other highlights to past challenges as appropriate. You are free to make any comments about the challenges. Also, if you create your own challenge, I would love to know what it was. It may become a future challenge for me, who knows!

Have you thought about it? Are you in? So, for $19.95 a month, you can be part of this amazing program...Ha! Did I get you? There are NO fees, commitment cards, raising your right arm and promising your first born, nothing. Just join when you want to or read along while I try to make some positive lifestyle changes to get inspired (or laugh at me, it's okay, I am sure it will be humorous.)

So, get ready for 52 little ways to help make 2009 the best year ever! Remember, the challenge starts Sunday, January 4th, 2009! (Hmmm...wonder how many times I can say that....)

Friday, December 5, 2008

Work At Home Mafia Contest!

This blog is not a work at home opportunity blog like some, but since I am a work at home mom I just had to mention the contest that started today at Work At Home Mafia. (Please note the actual address is this, but it is undergoing some site maintenance currently.)

Between today, December 5, 2008 through December 12, 2008, if registered members write 10 posts on the site, you are entered to win 1 of 12 prizes! There are some seriously good stuff over there and I know all of us would love a little something for ourselves or to help with Christmas shopping! If you are not a registered member, it is easy and free to become one.

Prizes are:
$100 Visa Gift Card
Ipod Shuffle
Brother - Fax/ Phone/ Copier
$50 Walmart Gift Card
SwissGear SA9367 Computer Backpack (Blue)
Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Gift Basket
LeapFrog® Tag Reading System
Iron Man DVD
Sex In the City DVD
$25 Amazon Gift Card
$50 Restaurant.com Gift Card
$25 Cash via paypal

Sounds good, huh? Well, after you have spent ample time reading my blog, then head over there to get yourself set up to win some good stuff.

And since we are on the subject, let me share my favorite work at home websites (beside the one linked above) for all of you out there that may be looking for some opportunities:

www.wahm.com
www.workplacelikehome.com

www.genuinejobs.com
Work At Home Mom Revolution

At all of these websites you can find legitimate work at home opportunities as well as some scammers, so please do your research before applying to a position. There are some great opportunities for those looking for a telecommute job, but like anything on the web there are always those out there wanting to spoil it.

Good luck and happy Friday!

...now we will return you to the regular scheduled programming...a la...twins...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Nooooo!!

Here are a series of scenarios for when to use the word, "No."

Mealtime:

twinmama: "Jelly Bean, eat your green beans."
Jelly Bean: "Nooooo!!"

Playtime:

twinmama: "Jelly Bean, please do not climb up on that shelf."
Jelly Bean: "Nooooo!!"

Naptime:

twinmama: "Jelly Bean, time to take a nap."
Jelly Bean: "No."

Discussing Aspirations:

twinmama: "Do you want to be a teacher when you grow up?"
Peanut: "No."
Jelly Bean: "Nooo..."
twinmama: "Do you want to be an astronaut?"
Both: "No!"
twinmama: "Do you want to be a lion tamer?"
Peanut: "(silence)" (...should I be worried?)
Jelly Bean: "...nooooo" (She had to think about it...)

Out of the Blue:

Jelly Bean: "NOOOO!!"

(Nothing happened. No one said a word to her...She just got really mad.)

Disciplining the Dogs:

Peanut: "No, no!" (As she shakes her finger at the dog...yeah...I really need to re-evaluate my discipline style....)

Twinmama sneezed:

twinmama: "Excuse me."
Jelly Bean: "No."

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge (TLC)!

Do you need a little "TLC" next year? Are you ready to make resolutions for 2009 and are hoping you can keep them? Are you optimistic that next year just HAS to be better than this year?

I think there are a lot of people that are going through tough times right now. Some people will attempt to make New Year's resolutions while others will say, "Why bother? I never keep them anyway!"

No matter what camp you fall into when it comes to New Year's resolutions, allow me to give you a third, intriguing option. For about two months, I have been pondering a way to kick 2009 off with smart, healthful decisions and making changes to my life that will help me to be the best version of myself. Then it occurred to me that if I chronicle this journey, I would put myself out there thus making it REALLY difficult to slough off. Well, I am all about a little self-inflicted pain.

Then I thought, "Wow, if I post my journey, maybe others will want to come along for the ride."

And that is where you come in.

I am not suggesting that my loyal readers NEED to make any changes, by all means, I already know you are all perfect because you have impeccable tastes seeing as you read my blog. (Tee Hee) I just know as mothers we are quite the busy folk and usually we are the last people that we tend to take care of between the husbands and the children. I have not taken care of myself the way that I need to do for a very long time and I am ready for a change.

I am also not suggesting we come up with a list of New Year's resolutions and all of us try to muddle through them until we fail about early February. Personally, I think that resolutions are a joke and usually people bite off way more than they can chew and are destined to fail. I know that I have purchased a many gym memberships in January and by February, I never take out my gym member card ever again. (But, I still am required to pay the monthly fee that I contracted myself into. Nice, huh?)

What I am suggesting is in making very small lifestyle changes that can benefit our health, emotional well-being, our finances, our families, our faith, our hobbies or professional endeavours. Tiny little "tweaks" if you will, that will help to adjust our lifestyles and help us reach our goals in a much less painful way.

So here is Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge (TLC) plan:

1. Every Sunday, I will post my one new challenge for the week. It will be a small thing that I am either giving up, a habit that I am trying to adopt or a modification to perhaps a previous challenge that needed tweaking (though I hope this is rare.)

2. Challenges will start officially on Monday and continue indefinitely. Even though there is a new challenge each week, the idea is to build on the challenges. Therefore, week 1 challenge continues even when week 2 challenge begins. I am trying to build habits and make small changes that will produce effective results for overall goals.

3. Bringing Up Twins readers are invited to participate in the challenges each week or follow their own challenge. I know my goals may not be the same as others, so if you would like to be a part of TLC, but don't like the challenges, by all means, create your own and go for it!

4. I will share my previous week's results with you all and invite you to do the same. When I post the new challenge on Sunday, I will share my results of the previous week's challenge and any other highlights to past challenges as appropriate. You are free to make any comments about the challenges. Also, if you create your own challenge, I would love to know what it was. It may become a future challenge for me, who knows!

So, are you in? Okay, you don't have to decide right now. I will give you time to think about it. And you can jump in at any point next year, I am not going to make you sign a gym membership contract, I promise. Also, I will write multiple posts on this subject throughout the month of December to get everyone geared up. (So eat up those Christmas cookies now! Game over in January! Ha, just kidding it won't be that bad, I promise.)

I plan on starting the challenge on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Mark your calendars!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

MDA: Milk Drinkers Anonymous

Back in August, our pediatrician asked me how many ounces of milk the girls were drinking daily. After a moment of calculating the sippy cups throughout the day, I came up with a number over 32 ounces. She politely asked me to lower the amount of whole milk they were drinking down to 24 ounces a day since whole milk is fortified with vitamin D. Excessive amounts of vitamin D can raise the level of iron in the blood and can be harmful. I agreed.

Well, we are still working on limiting their milk intake. I haven't been very diligent in making this happen. The last few months have been so stressful with the move and my jobs that I haven't been following doctor's orders. Unfortunately, my little duo love their milk. They could do a "Got Milk?" ad anytime of the day because they usually have a sippy cup in one hand and are getting into trouble with the other. I do mix water into the equation throughout the day, too, and they don't get to drink fruit juice or soda.

As a result of all the milk drinking has come two little ones who don't want to eat during meal times. I am not unwise to the fact that whole milk is the culprit. After all, whole milk is filled with a good source of protein and fat. One full sippy cup of that stuff and who really would want their dinner? I tried a little swig one time and oh my...I drink soy milk and skim milk if I have to drink cow's milk. That stuff may as well have been heavy cream to me...

Finally this week I decided that it was time to enroll my girls in twinmama's Milk Drinkers Anonymous (MDA) program. I am limiting their milk intake to around 24 ounces a day (3 or 4 - 6 ounce cups). The rest of the time they receive water as normal. The trick to it is they cannot have this milk at mealtime. If given a plate of food and a sippy cup of milk, they will down the milk and then pick at the food. Instead, the milk is staggered between meals and they are served water at mealtime. The only exception to this rule is they are allowed to have a cup or two of milk at breakfast along with their cereal and fruit. This is usually the only source of protein they have in the morning.

The first day there was a baby backlash. I started the day off with a 6 ounce cup of milk along with their breakfast. When they finished this cup, they were offered another cup of milk to drink. At lunchtime, they were given water. When I gave them their cups, they both immediately began drinking. As soon as they took a couple gulps, they realized what it was and sat it down. Peanut tried to hand the cup back to me giving me a look like, "I think you gave me the wrong cup, mom. Try again." Jelly Bean just got really ticked and tried to hand me the cup. When I refused to take either and walked away, sippy cups hit the floor. There were howls of disapproval and cries of frustration. I calmly got their food and laid it down before them. Some food was brushed away as they protested, but again, I calmly got my plate for lunch and my water and sat down at the table with them to eat.

At some point when they realized that twinmama wasn't going to give in, they both started picking at their lunch. After a moment or two, I calmly got up and picked up their sippy cups and placed them back on their trays. They both ate their lunches and had some water. I couldn't believe it. Peanut was always a good eater until lately, but Jelly Bean is horrible about eating and for her to eat her entire meal was proof that their milk drinking habits were getting in the way of them having other important food.

After lunch, they typically play and then settle in for an afternoon nap. After their nap, I allowed them their third cup of milk along with a little snack. They chugged their milk down. Once they finished, they both handed me their cup and said, "More?" while doing the sign language for the word, too. Instead, I got them some water. Again, there was a revolt. Water cups hit the floor and babies flopped on the floor next to the cups sobbing. You would have thought that I was starving these children.

A little while later it was dinner time and we got to experience the lunch stand off all over again. Again, they threw fits over the tasteless liquid that was presented to them, but both girls did decent jobs eating their meals. After dinner, they can have a sippy cup of milk as long as it isn't too late. I stop giving them liquids an hour before bedtime to avoid leaky diapers.

It has been almost a week since I began their "treatment" program and both girls are eating better at meal time. They are getting a healthful and fulfilling amount of whole milk to supplement their diet, but it is not their entire diet. I blame myself for allowing the girls to have too much milk. It was just too easy when one of them would cry. I knew that a sippy cup of milk would calm a crabby baby and I used that method way more than necessary.

I have been thinking a lot about this and I am glad that I am changing this habit. Knowing myself, this is something that I need to do, too. I have often used food as a crutch for a bad day or a sad moment. Sweets are my weakness, but they are also my nemesis because I know they are not healthy for me. I turn to them when I can't seem to cope with something. I have made whole milk into the girls' crutch when they are sad and can't communicate to me what they need.

This has to stop. For all of us.

So, last week, I set out to make my girls' diets healthier. This next week, I need to do the same for me. Time to drop the crutch and find healthful ways to deal with the blues. I want my girls to be healthy and make good decisions so they live enjoyable, long lives.

And it would be good if I do the same so I can see it all happen.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Case of The Lurking Poop Cloud

It was a boring afternoon. No cases had come my way. I sat in front of my laptop, cruising around on my favorite blogs. Thank God for creative mothers out there to entertain, enlighten and inform me. You know who you are.

Being a detective takes considerable work. I have had to solve mysteries every day since becoming a mom. My most recent case was the missing sippy cup. It was clear that one was missing because twinmamas don't have odd numbers of anything. So, when I was washing sippy cups that had stacked up in the sink and realized there were five...well, that put me into my super sleuthing mode. I got my magnifying glass out and searched the house.

I scanned the playroom for the obvious spots, but my nemesis - the psyche of 21 month old babies - was making sure that I wouldn't discover it. I looked under the couches, the toy shelf and in the toy bins. No sippy cup. As it got late, this private eye called it quits. The case would be there for another day and it was. After breakfast the girls were playing in the room and as I tidied up the kitchen, I happened check in on the girls only to find the missing cup now in the hands of Peanut while she drank the day old who knows what that was still inside it. Never figured out where it was found, but it was promptly confiscated and taken in for questioning. It never confessed.

So, on this day while I was sitting around commenting on my favorite blogs, I was taken back by a cry from a damsel in distress. A moment later, it was followed by another damsel in distress crying. I got up and went upstairs to check on my little duo, but before I could hit the top step, the strongest, gaseous fume smacked me in the face.

It became quite evident the reason why the damsels were in distress. I was now in distress. No man or beast could breath in the presence of this bio hazard. The dogs wouldn't even come upstairs. I made my way to the girls to find them both hanging over the edge of their cribs. I stopped to check out the crime scene before I entered it. Nothing looked suspicious or out of ordinary, just some stuffed animals. Wait! They are all just stuffed animals, right? It does smell like something died in here.

I knew this was a hot case and it had to be resolved quickly for everyone's sake. I decided to inquire who the poop culprit was by asking, "Who poo-pooed?" Both girls stared at me with blank expressions until Peanut grabbed her diaper and said, "Poo Poo." Ah, ha! I have found the guilty party, this case is solved!

However during the diaper change, I discovered that she must have been a decoy because there was no poop to be seen. She was willing to take the fall for her sister, that was big of her, but now I could get her on accessory to releasing a lethal odor. That carried a harsh penalty of having to endure a diaper change while she wanted to play.

Next, I picked up Jelly Bean and decided to interrogate her. "Did you poopy?" I asked. She looked at me, but wouldn't answer. This is highly suspect because she knows more words than Peanut so she probably could answer. She was playing hardball with me. So, I inquired again and she looked at me and gave me her most maniacal laugh, "Heh, heh, heh!" It was at this point that I realized that I had the right lead to the source of this offensive odor.

I prepared myself for the changing of the toxic diaper, but I really should have called in a HazMat team. It was going to be big and a doozy. As I pulled the diaper off, I suddenly found absolutely nothing in the diaper...what?

The case was building now. If neither baby had pooped in their diaper, where did the poop cloud over the room come from? I knew that I would have to investigate further, but fortunately I didn't have to. As I began to wipe Jelly Bean clean, I see a little poop kernel fall from her bottom. It was tiny...but the deadly source of all the nastiness that was in the room.

"That's it?" I looked at Jelly Bean. She giggled as I wrapped up the diaper. I immediately removed it from the area and took the offensive diapers to the trash can outside. The case is solved and clean air fills the upstairs once again.

So another mystery is revealed. As a mother, I am often trying to figure out how to do something for my kids or how to make a situation or routine better. I think this does make me have to put on my detective's hat and solve the case. Often, I learn what works and what doesn't work and how to approach a certain situation.

And I have learned from this case...my kids really need to potty train...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Images of Mother

I received this forward email recently that contained little tidbits and quotes about moms. Something really got to me about the piece below. Take a look...

The Images
of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She 's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

Could this stab me in the heart any more? It was interesting because when I read it, I didn't immediately think of my own children. I thought about my relationship with my own mom. I am blessed to still have her in my life and she has done so much for me and my family. I think about how I was when I was a child and I know that I went through a similar progression like above. Right now, I am definitely in the "35 Years Of Age" category. I call my mom when I need advice on the girls or if I need someone to cheer me up. She has always been my biggest cheerleader and I will forever be grateful for that.

I hope that I can do the same for my girls.