New website announcement!!!

Hi All! I am excited to announce that we are packing up and moving...uh, virtually, that is.

Bringing Up Twins is now moving to its new forever home! Check us out at our new address:

bringinguptwins.com

We are still unpacking boxes and putting things right where we want them, but going forward our new site will have updated blog posts. Archived blog posts, articles and much more will follow!

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me at info at bringinguptwins.com.

Also, if you are interested in being part of my blog roll, feel free to contact me. All current followers will automatically be a part of it.

Can't wait to see you all soon!

Perspective

Since I went off to college, I have been trying to escape. I didn't want to live in my hometown forever. I wanted to see more. I wanted to do more. I wanted to explore and spread my wings. So, I decided that going away to college was for me the day of my Dad's funeral. I knew my life had to change and this was the direction that seemed right to me. I then set out to find a way to make this a reality though the odds were not in my favor. No one had gone away to school in my family and I was looked at in disbelief when I announced this was my plan.

I went away to college for the entire freshman year and had fun, shed tears and changed in some ways and possibly digressed in other ways. No one can prepare someone for the challenges of being a college student out on their own. One just has to experience it. I had to grab the bull by the horns and just do it. Some people thrive at it and find this is the way for them. I wanted to be one of these people. Desperately. However, what I didn't expect was to deal with the crushing blow of grief that I had put off for the year and a half since my Dad had died. I squashed those feelings of hurt, loss and bewilderment that one of the people who created me was gone out of my life forever. I did this by being someone that I think both the Lord and me know was not who I should have been and not who I was created to be.

After one year, I retreated back home. I found comfort in being back home around family and old friends. I enjoyed the ability to have a decent job that I didn't have to compete with hundreds of other students to get. Living at home afforded me the ability to have things that poor college students usually couldn't have. I was home. This felt right. Though I was still trying to escape.

So, I partied. Yep, this twinmama enjoyed herself one too many times at the lounge...Okay, we didn't call it the lounge, but you know what I mean. I am sure there were many people in my life that looked at ME in bewilderment thinking, "What are you doing??" I should have been one of them, but I was still numb.

At some point, I picked myself up and decided this wasn't the life for me anymore. I thought returning to college was the best thing for me. This time I would really grab the bull by the horns and get everything out of the college experience. This time was for me! So, I returned to college the following year and spent another year and a half there feeling even more aimless. I had no purpose being there. I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I didn't enjoy what I was learning. I had very few friends who all had their own lives going on. So, I worked. And worked. And worked. This did not fulfill me. It made me even more resentful.

Finally, I decided to leave, but in the midst of making this decision found myself in a relationship with someone from my past that I thought would make me happy. Sometimes we cannot be the person we used to be. I was at this point and realized that I had changed forever. This did not last.

So, I was back home and finished my degree at a local school. I worked while in college and that is where I met twindada. From the moment he asked me out, we have been inseparable ever since. This is hard to believe since we have been together for nine years and married for seven! Being with twindada was the first time that I felt home. I finally found what I was looking for in the midst of chaos and heartache. My world had spun out of control after my father died and for the first time, I found balance again.

At our wedding, we set out a bouquet of flowers for my Dad. I know he was there. Yet, I couldn't find sadness that day. It wasn't because I didn't miss my Dad walking me down the aisle or a father/daughter dance. (I can't stay in the room during this dance at anyone's wedding, it crushes me. What am I going to do when Peanut & Jelly Bean dance with twindada one day??) It was because that day I created a family with twindada and I felt a sense of peace that I had been looking for for years.

It's strange to think about my college years. Twindada and I went to the same college and even lived a street apart one year and yet we met 3 hours away at job. We could have passed each other on the street at any given moment. I could have brushed arms at a club with the father of my children.

Yet it took me going home to find him.

So, maybe that is the key. Home isn't so bad. Home isn't always a place. It is much more than that. I tried to escape my home yet I think that even though I have changed, I have found comfort in the familiarities of my upbringing. I have dear high school friends who I miss and some I am just reuniting with thanks to Facebook. I am not the same person. Never will be, but that is okay. I am a better version of myself because there is one other thing that I haven't mentioned.

I came back to Christ.

When Dad died, I ran like lightning away from God. I still had a reasonable fear of Him, but I was sooo angry. I put up my fist and let Him know this girl was carving her own path. Bad idea. You can see where that got me.

Twindada and I had a spiritual journey (that we are still on!) that changed the course of our lives forever. I believe this is the sole reason I was meant to marry him. I could have made many other choices in my life, but none of those would have glorified God. Him and I were meant to see the love, mercy and grace that the Lord provides. We have seen it every year that we have been together and this year is not any different.

2009 has been one of the most challenging years of our lives together yet we both have felt grateful for the outcome. Neither of us wanted to see twindada lose his job or for us to make the decision to put our house on the market. Stressful things have been happening and it has taken a toll on us! However, every time something challenging happens, it has given us the opportunity to ask the question, "Lord, what do you want to teach us with this adversity in our lives?" God is looking to shape our hearts and I think we are being molded with every challenge.

As I mentioned, we put our house on the market. We JUST moved in a year ago. We are very sad because it is a great house with lots of potential, some we have already taken advantage of with its hardwood floors and beautiful sunroom. Love the sunroom...I digress...

We have made another decision and that is to move back to my hometown. I pray this is the right decision for our family. I am excited about doing this and think the girls will benefit greatly for being closer to my mom. They LOVE their grandma and ask to see her all the time. Being able to see her regularly would be a treat for them. Having my Mom nearby would be a helpful for me as she is my biggest support system besides my husband.

Twindada was able to find a job closer to my Mom's home therefore this is a wise decision for everyone. I pray he is able to find peace in this decision since this is not where he is from. (We are currently living in his home town. It will be a switch for us.) I want everyone to be happy because my family is my first "home". Going back to my "hometown" is a bonus.

I pray we are able to sell our house quickly and move on with our lives. I pray we can find something in my hometown that will be suitable for us while we look for our permanent home. I pray that as we find our next home, we can find comfort in God's loving presence, our real home.

Sometimes writing it all out brings perspective. You know, maybe I will have come full circle in my journey to escape. That is okay. Is it that I am running back to my roots for comfort? Am I bailing on my hellbent attitude of going out on my own and never looking back? Maybe to some, but not to this twinmama. Check out my name. I am a twinmama now. It isn't about me, it is about my family. And my family is my home....are you with me?

Are You Going to Have Anymore?

Recently, I have been asked the question, "Are you going to have anymore children?" It seems lately this has been asked of me more and more. I guess since the girls are almost three years old it is a good time for us to be thinking about it. Or at least everyone else thinks so.

I have several friends and family members who are having #3. This is the most children anyone in my life have. Three is a good number although I suspect several of my friends may go for more children. They are good, patient parents and if God blesses it, I am sure they will happily make room for more.

I grew up with two old brothers so I came from a family of three children. Three makes sense to me. Twindada grew up with one older brother, so two's company for him. Before our girls were born, we joked about how many we would have. When we were trying to get pregnant, we wanted a big family. Our version of big was possibly five kiddos. When we were finally carrying the twins, we joked that we would just get pregnant with another set of twins and have four kids. Once the girls were born, we said we would prefer NOT to have another set of twins and who knows what the future brings. (Translation: We were shell shocked and why in the world would we want to do this all over again? Fertility treatment, roller coaster pregnancy, hospitalization, bed rest, NICU time, first three months, next 9 months, next 1 1/2 years....)

Crazy!!

They are so much hard work! They take over your world! They are the reason I toss and turn, worrying about them, praying for them and obsessing over their well being! They have multiplied the number of gray hairs on my head by 50! They want me to pull my hair out!!

Guess what? I love it.

Guess what? I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Guess what? Maybe there is room for more.

Now, I am not making any announcements. Our world has been turned upside down this year with the loss of a job and other challenges. This is certainly not the right time for us, but maybe, just maybe that one day God will bless us with more.

I am over thinking about how hard the beginning was because frankly all that hard work is so worth it. When my girls smiled at me for the first time, it was amazing. When my girls started saying "Dada" it warmed my heart. When the girls started walking, I was proud (and scared).

Now the girls are absorbing everything. They are singing, playing pretend instruments, learning, wanting to do things for themselves. I am in awe how my 2 little preemies have turned into 2 amazing little independent girls who are happy and have a love of all things they come into contact with everyday.

When I eavesdrop on them having a conversation with each other, it is so sweet. I love to hear them giggling with each other and I love when they melt in my arms. I love how they want to do everything by themselves, "I want to do it myself!" and when they need me, they come sweetly saying, "Mommy, do it..."

All of this reminds me how wonderful it is to be a mother. And when I think about my beautiful little girls, I know that if God gave me enough love for two babies in a single moment, there may just be enough room for more.

Only time will tell.

Is It Really Double?

I heard a lot when I was carrying twins that we were in for twice the work - twice the diapers, twice the bottles, twice the baths...well, twice the everything. People would say, "It is like having one baby, but double the work." This seemed logical to me because I was carrying two children and that made perfect sense.

Then I gave birth to twins and brought them home from the hospital.

It was during those first three months that I decided that all of these people had no idea what they were talking about. All those people who appropriately spaced out their children so they were able to enjoy each of them individually. Yeah, those people, you know who you are...:)

I remember the first three months were filled with various emotions. I was thrilled that both Peanut & Jelly Bean were healthy and doing great. That was the blessing. I was thrilled because I was the mother of two beautiful little girls which was a huge surprise the day they were born. I was thrilled because my dream of being a mother had finally come true and that God blessed my prayers. No complaints from this twinmama, I am blessed! However, the first three months were also the roughest three months of my life. I was sleep deprived beyond imagine. I was overwhelmed beyond imagine. I was hormonal beyond imagine. I was confused...well, beyond imagine.

The work involved with caring for twin infants is well beyond double the work. Yes, there are double the diapers, bottles and clothing, but it is more than that. No one speaks about the "third" child known as "inconvenience, logistical nightmare and do-overs". Let me explain...

I remember watching my friends who could easily transport their sweet little mobile baby wherever they went. Want to go to the store? No problem! Grab the baby and pack the diaper bag and off you go! Want ME, a mother of twins, to go to the store? Okay, let me grab both babies, hold on, they are getting heavy in their car seats and the diaper bag is crammed full, you know, at least 2 sets of clothes, diapers, 2 sippy cups...wait a minute, I can't carry both car seats and the diaper bag to the car, so I need to take each one to the door and then come back and oh no, Peanut just spit up on her outfit...wait a minute, let me change her, but wait Jelly Bean is already in the car. So I go back and get Jelly Bean because I am paranoid and don't want her alone for more than a minute and then I finally change Peanut and go to put her in the car, but wait! Jelly Bean just pooped in her diaper. Crap. Yeah, that's what's in there alright. Go back for Peanut to bring her back in the house. Change Jelly Bean. I am really tired now. You know, sleep deprivation, right? FORGET IT!! I will just call twindada and have him pick up a pizza for dinner...

It's is more than double the work. It takes some time to figure out how to manage all of the demands, the logistics and emotions that make up the twin life. Each new stage presents new challenges, but it is also amazing how twin parents (and other multiple parents) are able to overcome each hurdle. I figured out how to plan my time better. I learned to not sweat the spit ups and unexpected diaper changes. I learned to recognize that this is hard work and that it is okay to ask for help. I learned that "this too shall pass" and once it is over, I will miss it. And even as hard as those first three months were, I would love to hold my 4 lb twin preemies one more time.

Potty Training Lessons This Mama Has Learned the Hard Way

We have been attempting to potty train for the past few months. I say "attempting" because some weeks I am ready to give it a go while other weeks I cower in the corner rocking back and forth. Two little girls are in charge of our financial, mental, physical and emotional well being. This twinfamily needs to free up some funds, know what I am saying? Time for two little bottoms to air out and proclaim "big girl status"! Time for this twinmama to get a break once in a while instead of being up to my elbows in dirty diapers! Time for our trash to only need emptied a couple times a week instead of everyday! Yet every time there is a massive puddle on the floor or I am dodging turds right and left on the carpet, I immediately retreat.

Danger! Danger! Toxic materials! Call in the HazMat team! We have a CODE RED, people!

And I think these brilliant little girls know that they hold the cards. They know they control how long this is going to go on. They know they have us by our throats and won't let go until we cry uncle.

I will win. I must win. They are very smart...good gene pool, what can I say? Heh, heh...But there is one thing they don't have...

GOOGLE! Yep, I am going to shameless scour the Internet for every single tidbit, advice and downright evil tactic to get these little girls to go running for the potty. I will keep you posted.

So, while I think of new ways to beat them at their own game, here are my lessons learned. (Notice I said, MY lessons learned. The girls' list would be much shorter.)

1. Never assume because you have done everything at the same time since your twins were born that this time will be the same. Peanut is interested in potty training. Jelly Bean is absolutely not.

2. Never send your child to time out when they are only wearing panties and are potty training. They have a secret weapon and they will use it. And you will spend more time cleaning up the mess than they did in time out.

3. Never assume that all "currency" works the same for all children. Some may like stickers, some may like M&M's.

4. Never assume that "currency" will keep its value indefinitely. Peanut has bored of stickers, so we switched to M&M's. I fear that she is boring of these, too...

5. Never switch to training pants such as Huggies Pull Ups if they are waaay cuter than their other diapers. Pretty pink Pull Ups with princesses on them will not make them want to wear panties any time soon. They will happily go pee and poo in these pretty training pants. No, they don't care about the blasted hearts or butterflies that disappear. They are smart enough to know when this happens, mommy is going to put a new Pull Up on them. Poof! There are more butterflies and hearts!

6. Never assume once your child tells you that she has to go potty for an entire day that she will keep this up.

7. Never assume that your child will care if you tell her she will be a "big girl" if she goes potty in the toilet. Some are completely happy being a baby and have no plans to change that. Why should they do all the work, when there is someone available to wipe their butt for them?

8. Never assume that children will be disgusted by poop and pee as you are. Puddles are puddles and all are fun to splash in.

9. Never assume because your child wakes up dry after nap time, tells you that she needs a diaper change, and if you don't get to her fast enough she strips, that she is ready for potty training. She is clearly messing with your head.

10. Never assume that just because most of your family and friends potty trained their children before the age of 2 that there is something wrong with your child. After all, that stubbornness had to come from somewhere...

The New Parents Guide

Planning for a new baby or wanting new loot for your little one? Check out The New Parents Guide. The site is filled with baby and toddler products, family friendly resorts around the world, articles and much more!

New products, information and travel spots are added regularly, so check back in often!

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Do you like to earn Paypal money?

Hey folks! Long time, no posts. I have been working a lot to support my family during these tough times, so my free time is pretty much zilch. I am chained to my laptop when the girls are napping, but I don't get to do a lot of surfing or blogging. I am trying to peak in on everyone else's blogs as much as I can. Bare with me, I miss you all.

I recently came across some sites that are little ways to earn extra cash and they all pay into Paypal! For just a small amount of time daily, you can view ads and websites and get paid for it. These are called "Paid Per Click" or PPC sites if you would like to know the lingo. You will certainly not make enough money to pay the mortgage payment, but if you want to tuck away a few dollars here and there into your Paypal account in time for Christmas, well, it could help. I don't think of it as a "paycheck", but more like discounts or coupons next time you want to purchase something online. (It is cash, not actual coupons so you can use it on anything.)

For instance, if you decide to purchase a gift for your spouse and the gift costs $50, many sites will allow you to use your Paypal account to purchase. So, if over the last five months, you managed to tuck away $30, then that money could be applied to the purchase and then you will only owe the additional $20 (plus shipping, etc.) It can come in handy and all for very little time commitment. Here are some sites below and in full disclosure, Yes, I do get referral fees for everyone who signs up under me. (And if you sign up you can sign up others under you.)

http://www.trekadvertising.com/refer.asp?ref=14674

http://www.youdata.com/join/twinmama

There are others out there, but I want to do some more research on others before I pass them along. I do not ever want to recommend something that isn't worth it! Also, both of the above are just viewing websites, nothing else. The only recommendation that I have is to clear your cookies on your computer every night and have a good anti-virus. I haven't had a problem, but it is best to be as safe as possible.

Well, I hope this helps someone or someone you all know! Wishing you all the best!