Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Are You Going to Have Anymore?

Recently, I have been asked the question, "Are you going to have anymore children?" It seems lately this has been asked of me more and more. I guess since the girls are almost three years old it is a good time for us to be thinking about it. Or at least everyone else thinks so.

I have several friends and family members who are having #3. This is the most children anyone in my life have. Three is a good number although I suspect several of my friends may go for more children. They are good, patient parents and if God blesses it, I am sure they will happily make room for more.

I grew up with two old brothers so I came from a family of three children. Three makes sense to me. Twindada grew up with one older brother, so two's company for him. Before our girls were born, we joked about how many we would have. When we were trying to get pregnant, we wanted a big family. Our version of big was possibly five kiddos. When we were finally carrying the twins, we joked that we would just get pregnant with another set of twins and have four kids. Once the girls were born, we said we would prefer NOT to have another set of twins and who knows what the future brings. (Translation: We were shell shocked and why in the world would we want to do this all over again? Fertility treatment, roller coaster pregnancy, hospitalization, bed rest, NICU time, first three months, next 9 months, next 1 1/2 years....)


They are so much hard work! They take over your world! They are the reason I toss and turn, worrying about them, praying for them and obsessing over their well being! They have multiplied the number of gray hairs on my head by 50! They want me to pull my hair out!!

Guess what? I love it.

Guess what? I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Guess what? Maybe there is room for more.

Now, I am not making any announcements. Our world has been turned upside down this year with the loss of a job and other challenges. This is certainly not the right time for us, but maybe, just maybe that one day God will bless us with more.

I am over thinking about how hard the beginning was because frankly all that hard work is so worth it. When my girls smiled at me for the first time, it was amazing. When my girls started saying "Dada" it warmed my heart. When the girls started walking, I was proud (and scared).

Now the girls are absorbing everything. They are singing, playing pretend instruments, learning, wanting to do things for themselves. I am in awe how my 2 little preemies have turned into 2 amazing little independent girls who are happy and have a love of all things they come into contact with everyday.

When I eavesdrop on them having a conversation with each other, it is so sweet. I love to hear them giggling with each other and I love when they melt in my arms. I love how they want to do everything by themselves, "I want to do it myself!" and when they need me, they come sweetly saying, "Mommy, do it..."

All of this reminds me how wonderful it is to be a mother. And when I think about my beautiful little girls, I know that if God gave me enough love for two babies in a single moment, there may just be enough room for more.

Only time will tell.


Helene said...

Tim and I were the same way in the beginning before all the fertility treatments...we were hoping to have 3, maybe 4 kids. But after everything we went through to have children, we weren't sure if we could go through all that again. But once Cole and Bella were around 14 mos, I got baby fever again and we did an FET soon after that. We lost that pregnancy, which was a singleton. Then I got pregnant with Garrett and Landon. So I guess we did end up with our 4 kids....but yeah another set of twins totally turned our world upside down! Only other twin parents understand how challenging it is because they've been there too. I've had so many other twin moms tell they would not want another set of twins.

So yeah...only time will tell in your case. I think you'll know in your gut when/if the time is right!

Geri said...

Your post is so timely. I am not blogging about it, its a secret but I just had a miscarriage. I am so sad, this would have been an "oops" that I wanted desperately. My husband says no more. I want another more than anything. So you see, I can't talk about it yet. Its too hard..and he is gone away right now for work. He doesn't know. Sigh.
Anyway, I loved your post. I hope you can someday, have another or a couple more. Children grow and change so quickly, and their whole childhood flies right on by. Then, you get to be adult friends! So why not have as many future friends as possible? :)