Recently, I have been asked the question, "Are you going to have anymore children?" It seems lately this has been asked of me more and more. I guess since the girls are almost three years old it is a good time for us to be thinking about it. Or at least everyone else thinks so.
I have several friends and family members who are having #3. This is the most children anyone in my life have. Three is a good number although I suspect several of my friends may go for more children. They are good, patient parents and if God blesses it, I am sure they will happily make room for more.
I grew up with two old brothers so I came from a family of three children. Three makes sense to me. Twindada grew up with one older brother, so two's company for him. Before our girls were born, we joked about how many we would have. When we were trying to get pregnant, we wanted a big family. Our version of big was possibly five kiddos. When we were finally carrying the twins, we joked that we would just get pregnant with another set of twins and have four kids. Once the girls were born, we said we would prefer NOT to have another set of twins and who knows what the future brings. (Translation: We were shell shocked and why in the world would we want to do this all over again? Fertility treatment, roller coaster pregnancy, hospitalization, bed rest, NICU time, first three months, next 9 months, next 1 1/2 years....)
Crazy!!
They are so much hard work! They take over your world! They are the reason I toss and turn, worrying about them, praying for them and obsessing over their well being! They have multiplied the number of gray hairs on my head by 50! They want me to pull my hair out!!
Guess what? I love it.
Guess what? I couldn't imagine it any other way.
Guess what? Maybe there is room for more.
Now, I am not making any announcements. Our world has been turned upside down this year with the loss of a job and other challenges. This is certainly not the right time for us, but maybe, just maybe that one day God will bless us with more.
I am over thinking about how hard the beginning was because frankly all that hard work is so worth it. When my girls smiled at me for the first time, it was amazing. When my girls started saying "Dada" it warmed my heart. When the girls started walking, I was proud (and scared).
Now the girls are absorbing everything. They are singing, playing pretend instruments, learning, wanting to do things for themselves. I am in awe how my 2 little preemies have turned into 2 amazing little independent girls who are happy and have a love of all things they come into contact with everyday.
When I eavesdrop on them having a conversation with each other, it is so sweet. I love to hear them giggling with each other and I love when they melt in my arms. I love how they want to do everything by themselves, "I want to do it myself!" and when they need me, they come sweetly saying, "Mommy, do it..."
All of this reminds me how wonderful it is to be a mother. And when I think about my beautiful little girls, I know that if God gave me enough love for two babies in a single moment, there may just be enough room for more.
Only time will tell.
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Is It Really Double?
I heard a lot when I was carrying twins that we were in for twice the work - twice the diapers, twice the bottles, twice the baths...well, twice the everything. People would say, "It is like having one baby, but double the work." This seemed logical to me because I was carrying two children and that made perfect sense.
Then I gave birth to twins and brought them home from the hospital.
It was during those first three months that I decided that all of these people had no idea what they were talking about. All those people who appropriately spaced out their children so they were able to enjoy each of them individually. Yeah, those people, you know who you are...:)
I remember the first three months were filled with various emotions. I was thrilled that both Peanut & Jelly Bean were healthy and doing great. That was the blessing. I was thrilled because I was the mother of two beautiful little girls which was a huge surprise the day they were born. I was thrilled because my dream of being a mother had finally come true and that God blessed my prayers. No complaints from this twinmama, I am blessed! However, the first three months were also the roughest three months of my life. I was sleep deprived beyond imagine. I was overwhelmed beyond imagine. I was hormonal beyond imagine. I was confused...well, beyond imagine.
The work involved with caring for twin infants is well beyond double the work. Yes, there are double the diapers, bottles and clothing, but it is more than that. No one speaks about the "third" child known as "inconvenience, logistical nightmare and do-overs". Let me explain...
I remember watching my friends who could easily transport their sweet little mobile baby wherever they went. Want to go to the store? No problem! Grab the baby and pack the diaper bag and off you go! Want ME, a mother of twins, to go to the store? Okay, let me grab both babies, hold on, they are getting heavy in their car seats and the diaper bag is crammed full, you know, at least 2 sets of clothes, diapers, 2 sippy cups...wait a minute, I can't carry both car seats and the diaper bag to the car, so I need to take each one to the door and then come back and oh no, Peanut just spit up on her outfit...wait a minute, let me change her, but wait Jelly Bean is already in the car. So I go back and get Jelly Bean because I am paranoid and don't want her alone for more than a minute and then I finally change Peanut and go to put her in the car, but wait! Jelly Bean just pooped in her diaper. Crap. Yeah, that's what's in there alright. Go back for Peanut to bring her back in the house. Change Jelly Bean. I am really tired now. You know, sleep deprivation, right? FORGET IT!! I will just call twindada and have him pick up a pizza for dinner...
It's is more than double the work. It takes some time to figure out how to manage all of the demands, the logistics and emotions that make up the twin life. Each new stage presents new challenges, but it is also amazing how twin parents (and other multiple parents) are able to overcome each hurdle. I figured out how to plan my time better. I learned to not sweat the spit ups and unexpected diaper changes. I learned to recognize that this is hard work and that it is okay to ask for help. I learned that "this too shall pass" and once it is over, I will miss it. And even as hard as those first three months were, I would love to hold my 4 lb twin preemies one more time.
Then I gave birth to twins and brought them home from the hospital.
It was during those first three months that I decided that all of these people had no idea what they were talking about. All those people who appropriately spaced out their children so they were able to enjoy each of them individually. Yeah, those people, you know who you are...:)
I remember the first three months were filled with various emotions. I was thrilled that both Peanut & Jelly Bean were healthy and doing great. That was the blessing. I was thrilled because I was the mother of two beautiful little girls which was a huge surprise the day they were born. I was thrilled because my dream of being a mother had finally come true and that God blessed my prayers. No complaints from this twinmama, I am blessed! However, the first three months were also the roughest three months of my life. I was sleep deprived beyond imagine. I was overwhelmed beyond imagine. I was hormonal beyond imagine. I was confused...well, beyond imagine.
The work involved with caring for twin infants is well beyond double the work. Yes, there are double the diapers, bottles and clothing, but it is more than that. No one speaks about the "third" child known as "inconvenience, logistical nightmare and do-overs". Let me explain...
I remember watching my friends who could easily transport their sweet little mobile baby wherever they went. Want to go to the store? No problem! Grab the baby and pack the diaper bag and off you go! Want ME, a mother of twins, to go to the store? Okay, let me grab both babies, hold on, they are getting heavy in their car seats and the diaper bag is crammed full, you know, at least 2 sets of clothes, diapers, 2 sippy cups...wait a minute, I can't carry both car seats and the diaper bag to the car, so I need to take each one to the door and then come back and oh no, Peanut just spit up on her outfit...wait a minute, let me change her, but wait Jelly Bean is already in the car. So I go back and get Jelly Bean because I am paranoid and don't want her alone for more than a minute and then I finally change Peanut and go to put her in the car, but wait! Jelly Bean just pooped in her diaper. Crap. Yeah, that's what's in there alright. Go back for Peanut to bring her back in the house. Change Jelly Bean. I am really tired now. You know, sleep deprivation, right? FORGET IT!! I will just call twindada and have him pick up a pizza for dinner...
It's is more than double the work. It takes some time to figure out how to manage all of the demands, the logistics and emotions that make up the twin life. Each new stage presents new challenges, but it is also amazing how twin parents (and other multiple parents) are able to overcome each hurdle. I figured out how to plan my time better. I learned to not sweat the spit ups and unexpected diaper changes. I learned to recognize that this is hard work and that it is okay to ask for help. I learned that "this too shall pass" and once it is over, I will miss it. And even as hard as those first three months were, I would love to hold my 4 lb twin preemies one more time.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Potty Training Lessons This Mama Has Learned the Hard Way
We have been attempting to potty train for the past few months. I say "attempting" because some weeks I am ready to give it a go while other weeks I cower in the corner rocking back and forth. Two little girls are in charge of our financial, mental, physical and emotional well being. This twinfamily needs to free up some funds, know what I am saying? Time for two little bottoms to air out and proclaim "big girl status"! Time for this twinmama to get a break once in a while instead of being up to my elbows in dirty diapers! Time for our trash to only need emptied a couple times a week instead of everyday! Yet every time there is a massive puddle on the floor or I am dodging turds right and left on the carpet, I immediately retreat.
Danger! Danger! Toxic materials! Call in the HazMat team! We have a CODE RED, people!
And I think these brilliant little girls know that they hold the cards. They know they control how long this is going to go on. They know they have us by our throats and won't let go until we cry uncle.
I will win. I must win. They are very smart...good gene pool, what can I say? Heh, heh...But there is one thing they don't have...
GOOGLE! Yep, I am going to shameless scour the Internet for every single tidbit, advice and downright evil tactic to get these little girls to go running for the potty. I will keep you posted.
So, while I think of new ways to beat them at their own game, here are my lessons learned. (Notice I said, MY lessons learned. The girls' list would be much shorter.)
1. Never assume because you have done everything at the same time since your twins were born that this time will be the same. Peanut is interested in potty training. Jelly Bean is absolutely not.
2. Never send your child to time out when they are only wearing panties and are potty training. They have a secret weapon and they will use it. And you will spend more time cleaning up the mess than they did in time out.
3. Never assume that all "currency" works the same for all children. Some may like stickers, some may like M&M's.
4. Never assume that "currency" will keep its value indefinitely. Peanut has bored of stickers, so we switched to M&M's. I fear that she is boring of these, too...
5. Never switch to training pants such as Huggies Pull Ups if they are waaay cuter than their other diapers. Pretty pink Pull Ups with princesses on them will not make them want to wear panties any time soon. They will happily go pee and poo in these pretty training pants. No, they don't care about the blasted hearts or butterflies that disappear. They are smart enough to know when this happens, mommy is going to put a new Pull Up on them. Poof! There are more butterflies and hearts!
6. Never assume once your child tells you that she has to go potty for an entire day that she will keep this up.
7. Never assume that your child will care if you tell her she will be a "big girl" if she goes potty in the toilet. Some are completely happy being a baby and have no plans to change that. Why should they do all the work, when there is someone available to wipe their butt for them?
8. Never assume that children will be disgusted by poop and pee as you are. Puddles are puddles and all are fun to splash in.
9. Never assume because your child wakes up dry after nap time, tells you that she needs a diaper change, and if you don't get to her fast enough she strips, that she is ready for potty training. She is clearly messing with your head.
10. Never assume that just because most of your family and friends potty trained their children before the age of 2 that there is something wrong with your child. After all, that stubbornness had to come from somewhere...
Danger! Danger! Toxic materials! Call in the HazMat team! We have a CODE RED, people!
And I think these brilliant little girls know that they hold the cards. They know they control how long this is going to go on. They know they have us by our throats and won't let go until we cry uncle.
I will win. I must win. They are very smart...good gene pool, what can I say? Heh, heh...But there is one thing they don't have...
GOOGLE! Yep, I am going to shameless scour the Internet for every single tidbit, advice and downright evil tactic to get these little girls to go running for the potty. I will keep you posted.
So, while I think of new ways to beat them at their own game, here are my lessons learned. (Notice I said, MY lessons learned. The girls' list would be much shorter.)
1. Never assume because you have done everything at the same time since your twins were born that this time will be the same. Peanut is interested in potty training. Jelly Bean is absolutely not.
2. Never send your child to time out when they are only wearing panties and are potty training. They have a secret weapon and they will use it. And you will spend more time cleaning up the mess than they did in time out.
3. Never assume that all "currency" works the same for all children. Some may like stickers, some may like M&M's.
4. Never assume that "currency" will keep its value indefinitely. Peanut has bored of stickers, so we switched to M&M's. I fear that she is boring of these, too...
5. Never switch to training pants such as Huggies Pull Ups if they are waaay cuter than their other diapers. Pretty pink Pull Ups with princesses on them will not make them want to wear panties any time soon. They will happily go pee and poo in these pretty training pants. No, they don't care about the blasted hearts or butterflies that disappear. They are smart enough to know when this happens, mommy is going to put a new Pull Up on them. Poof! There are more butterflies and hearts!
6. Never assume once your child tells you that she has to go potty for an entire day that she will keep this up.
7. Never assume that your child will care if you tell her she will be a "big girl" if she goes potty in the toilet. Some are completely happy being a baby and have no plans to change that. Why should they do all the work, when there is someone available to wipe their butt for them?
8. Never assume that children will be disgusted by poop and pee as you are. Puddles are puddles and all are fun to splash in.
9. Never assume because your child wakes up dry after nap time, tells you that she needs a diaper change, and if you don't get to her fast enough she strips, that she is ready for potty training. She is clearly messing with your head.
10. Never assume that just because most of your family and friends potty trained their children before the age of 2 that there is something wrong with your child. After all, that stubbornness had to come from somewhere...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A Few Of My Favorite Things: 2008 Memorable Moments
This week, I am wrapping up 2008 with some reviews and awards. Each post will contain information about twinmama's picks for the year, so stayed tuned for a new topic each time.
So now you know all about my favorite gear, let me stroll down memory lane and give you my favorite memories for 2008. These are times over the past year when the twinfamily experienced highs and lows - all of which make a year memorable.
1. The girls' first birthday. I don't know if it is a twin thing, but when Peanut and Jelly Bean turned one year old in February, I felt like this huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I certainly knew that we have, oh, well, a lifetime of worry and challenge waiting for us as parents, but getting through the first twelve months was a blessed moment. I remember the first three months of the girls' lives were pure utter hell (sorry, I just can't sugarcoat it) and then life just got a little easier going forward. By six months, they were getting to be fun with their little personalities blooming. By twelve months, we saw tremendous change as their learning went into high gear. The girls' were retaining words, saying words and able to bring us things that we asked them to find. Going from helpless little blobs of spit up and poo (trust me, I do miss it sometimes) to active little sponges was wonderful.
2. My Little Coaches. Back in the spring, I obtained my one of my two favorite items of all time - my double jogging stroller. (What is my other favorite item? My Kitchenaid stand mixer. You know, one to make the cookies and other one to burn off the cookies. It's the circle of life, right?) The girls and I got out on the open, cough, sidewalk and started running. It was a great time and the girls really liked it. I think when I would slow down or walk, they would start kicking and getting fussy, so I would have to start running again. I was forced to workout. How wonderful is that? Our new home doesn't have sidewalks, but we do have a bike path nearby so once we get another car, I can get back out there will my little ones. Looking forward to it.
3. Slamming Of The Doors. At the end of 2007, twindada and I decided that I would start to look for full time work. We figured as the girls were coming up on their first birthday that it was time for them to go into daycare and for me to resume my career. I have to admit that I was not all for this, but also knew that we wanted to buy a home and felt this was the only way for us to make that happen. I was, of course, willing to do whatever it would take to provide for my family. I have a pretty good background so within a couple of week, I had two really good job leads. When January hit, I started having interviews at both companies and both would have been excellent opportunities. I went through several rounds of interviews at each and went in with full force telling them that I was ready to come back to work and that I was eager to advance my career. However my heart was heavy because I knew that I really wanted to be home with my girls. I didn't want anyone else to have the opportunity to be with them everyday because having spent a year at home with them I knew how wonderful it really was. I continued to pray that God would work out everything somehow, but it didn't seem like things would work out the way that I wanted. Both job leads took considerable amount of interviewing and both managers would give me positive feedback, so I just knew that I was going to get one of those opportunities. After several months into the process, I heard back from one of the places they were hiring someone else. I was surprised, but not upset at all. In fact, I was relieved. And then in a matter of 48 hours, I receive word the other job was frozen until the end of the year. My response should have been concern, but instead I thanked God and was so incredibly relieved again. I talked to twindada about what had happened and when he said these words, I just knew my prayers were answered, "I think someone is trying to tell us something. I haven't felt good about this either." So, sometimes when doors to opportunities are closed, we are sad about this and question why God would let that happen, but I truly believe these doors were not just closed, He slammed them shut! Both were leading to promising positions and for both to be stripped away so quickly and abruptly, I just knew that He was answering my prayers. I do work from home now part time, but I get to stay home with my girls and I thank God for that.
4. Our New Digs. I think that if I went back over my posts, there are probably a lot of instances where I have complained about all the moving and remodeling that is taking place at our new home. Putting that all aside, trust me, I love my new home and I am very thankful for it. I know that God was at work on making this all happen because the market is not so hot right now, but He is faithful and knew this was our goal, so again, thank you God. On the outside, our home looks tiny. When we first drove up to it, I thought there was no way we could all live in a shoebox, but looks can be deceiving. This house is like Snoopy's doghouse. Looks small on the outside, but inside has more room than we can possibly use right now. (Except the space we do want to use in being remodeled - but I am done ranting about that!) What I love about it is that it is a home for us to grow in. So many of the homes we looked at were very nice and move in ready (so-to-speak), but we would have already outgrown the space before we moved in. We are a six person/beast household after all. As the girls grow up they will have more room in this home and if we decide to have any more children, then we will have space for additional members, too. (No, I am not implying anything. No babies right now!)
5. My Entry to the Blogosphere. One day in July, I was cruising around on wahm.com and a forum thread caught my eye about blogging. I thought, "hmmm..I like to write. I wonder what that is all about." Next thing I know, I have created my blogger account and "Bringing Up Twins" was born. Within a couple of weeks, I attempted to start two other blogs, but then I got real and scrapped those and focused my efforts on this blog. Overtime, I found other blogs and made some connections, joined some clubs, learned what the heck "twitter" was and now I have a little posse of blogging buddies that I really admire. Yes, I am talking to all of you. You all rock! I talk about you all more than I do anything else in my life to my husband. I usually start my conversation with him like this, "One of the blogs I read, well, she does this and this and this and that really works for her so I think that I need to try that." or "You have got to read this and this, her blog is so funny!" or "I wish that I could meet some of my blogging buddies, I think we would have a lot of fun together." I love to say that I am a blogger and it has opened up so much creativity and joy in my life that I was missing.
6. Our Major Fault. Not everything can go perfect in a year, right? I think that is realistic to say that with joys comes challenges and we definitely experienced our fair share this year. We did some things right while we did other things way wrong. However there was one that twindada and I both feel that we failed at and it was this: Keeping God first. Sometimes we did okay at talking to Him about what was going on in our lives, but many times especially over the past six months, He has been sidelined quite a bit from our perspective. We stopped going to church and I stopped my daily devotionals. Although I do stay consistent with evening prayer, I didn't give Him my first everyday. Despite all of this, He continued to protect us and bless us, but I think back at how much easier it could have been if we would have given the controls to the Lord and rely on Him to make the decisions. After all, He knows best.
Looking back over a year at accomplishments and challenges really helps to put to perspective what is working in our lives and what needs some adjustment. I know some things that I need to do next year, but I also know that it is impossible to predict how the new year will turn out. That may make it scary, but it also makes it pretty exciting.
One more day of 2008, people! Bring on the new year - we will be ready.
So now you know all about my favorite gear, let me stroll down memory lane and give you my favorite memories for 2008. These are times over the past year when the twinfamily experienced highs and lows - all of which make a year memorable.
1. The girls' first birthday. I don't know if it is a twin thing, but when Peanut and Jelly Bean turned one year old in February, I felt like this huge weight had been taken off my shoulders. I certainly knew that we have, oh, well, a lifetime of worry and challenge waiting for us as parents, but getting through the first twelve months was a blessed moment. I remember the first three months of the girls' lives were pure utter hell (sorry, I just can't sugarcoat it) and then life just got a little easier going forward. By six months, they were getting to be fun with their little personalities blooming. By twelve months, we saw tremendous change as their learning went into high gear. The girls' were retaining words, saying words and able to bring us things that we asked them to find. Going from helpless little blobs of spit up and poo (trust me, I do miss it sometimes) to active little sponges was wonderful.
2. My Little Coaches. Back in the spring, I obtained my one of my two favorite items of all time - my double jogging stroller. (What is my other favorite item? My Kitchenaid stand mixer. You know, one to make the cookies and other one to burn off the cookies. It's the circle of life, right?) The girls and I got out on the open, cough, sidewalk and started running. It was a great time and the girls really liked it. I think when I would slow down or walk, they would start kicking and getting fussy, so I would have to start running again. I was forced to workout. How wonderful is that? Our new home doesn't have sidewalks, but we do have a bike path nearby so once we get another car, I can get back out there will my little ones. Looking forward to it.
3. Slamming Of The Doors. At the end of 2007, twindada and I decided that I would start to look for full time work. We figured as the girls were coming up on their first birthday that it was time for them to go into daycare and for me to resume my career. I have to admit that I was not all for this, but also knew that we wanted to buy a home and felt this was the only way for us to make that happen. I was, of course, willing to do whatever it would take to provide for my family. I have a pretty good background so within a couple of week, I had two really good job leads. When January hit, I started having interviews at both companies and both would have been excellent opportunities. I went through several rounds of interviews at each and went in with full force telling them that I was ready to come back to work and that I was eager to advance my career. However my heart was heavy because I knew that I really wanted to be home with my girls. I didn't want anyone else to have the opportunity to be with them everyday because having spent a year at home with them I knew how wonderful it really was. I continued to pray that God would work out everything somehow, but it didn't seem like things would work out the way that I wanted. Both job leads took considerable amount of interviewing and both managers would give me positive feedback, so I just knew that I was going to get one of those opportunities. After several months into the process, I heard back from one of the places they were hiring someone else. I was surprised, but not upset at all. In fact, I was relieved. And then in a matter of 48 hours, I receive word the other job was frozen until the end of the year. My response should have been concern, but instead I thanked God and was so incredibly relieved again. I talked to twindada about what had happened and when he said these words, I just knew my prayers were answered, "I think someone is trying to tell us something. I haven't felt good about this either." So, sometimes when doors to opportunities are closed, we are sad about this and question why God would let that happen, but I truly believe these doors were not just closed, He slammed them shut! Both were leading to promising positions and for both to be stripped away so quickly and abruptly, I just knew that He was answering my prayers. I do work from home now part time, but I get to stay home with my girls and I thank God for that.
4. Our New Digs. I think that if I went back over my posts, there are probably a lot of instances where I have complained about all the moving and remodeling that is taking place at our new home. Putting that all aside, trust me, I love my new home and I am very thankful for it. I know that God was at work on making this all happen because the market is not so hot right now, but He is faithful and knew this was our goal, so again, thank you God. On the outside, our home looks tiny. When we first drove up to it, I thought there was no way we could all live in a shoebox, but looks can be deceiving. This house is like Snoopy's doghouse. Looks small on the outside, but inside has more room than we can possibly use right now. (Except the space we do want to use in being remodeled - but I am done ranting about that!) What I love about it is that it is a home for us to grow in. So many of the homes we looked at were very nice and move in ready (so-to-speak), but we would have already outgrown the space before we moved in. We are a six person/beast household after all. As the girls grow up they will have more room in this home and if we decide to have any more children, then we will have space for additional members, too. (No, I am not implying anything. No babies right now!)
5. My Entry to the Blogosphere. One day in July, I was cruising around on wahm.com and a forum thread caught my eye about blogging. I thought, "hmmm..I like to write. I wonder what that is all about." Next thing I know, I have created my blogger account and "Bringing Up Twins" was born. Within a couple of weeks, I attempted to start two other blogs, but then I got real and scrapped those and focused my efforts on this blog. Overtime, I found other blogs and made some connections, joined some clubs, learned what the heck "twitter" was and now I have a little posse of blogging buddies that I really admire. Yes, I am talking to all of you. You all rock! I talk about you all more than I do anything else in my life to my husband. I usually start my conversation with him like this, "One of the blogs I read, well, she does this and this and this and that really works for her so I think that I need to try that." or "You have got to read this and this, her blog is so funny!" or "I wish that I could meet some of my blogging buddies, I think we would have a lot of fun together." I love to say that I am a blogger and it has opened up so much creativity and joy in my life that I was missing.
6. Our Major Fault. Not everything can go perfect in a year, right? I think that is realistic to say that with joys comes challenges and we definitely experienced our fair share this year. We did some things right while we did other things way wrong. However there was one that twindada and I both feel that we failed at and it was this: Keeping God first. Sometimes we did okay at talking to Him about what was going on in our lives, but many times especially over the past six months, He has been sidelined quite a bit from our perspective. We stopped going to church and I stopped my daily devotionals. Although I do stay consistent with evening prayer, I didn't give Him my first everyday. Despite all of this, He continued to protect us and bless us, but I think back at how much easier it could have been if we would have given the controls to the Lord and rely on Him to make the decisions. After all, He knows best.
Looking back over a year at accomplishments and challenges really helps to put to perspective what is working in our lives and what needs some adjustment. I know some things that I need to do next year, but I also know that it is impossible to predict how the new year will turn out. That may make it scary, but it also makes it pretty exciting.
One more day of 2008, people! Bring on the new year - we will be ready.
Friday, December 26, 2008
The Week In A Nutshell
I hope everyone had a wonderful, healthy and safe Christmas! It is a blessed time to reflect on Jesus' birth and sacrifice with our loved ones.
I clearly fell off the face of the earth for the past week, which is like a month in the blogosphere. Where did the time go? Oh yeah, I was shopping, cooking and catching up on everything that I have been procrastinating on for the past month. This year was a little off for us over here in twinfamily land. With our new house still in the midst of a remodel, we didn't really have a lot of places to go with Christmas decorations which is kind of annoying because we have a decent size house now, but quite a bit of it is not live-able space until we finish up our projects. (I asked Santa to refinish the hardwood floors this week, but I guess he doesn't do that kind of thing. Oh well.)
In addition, some kind stranger gave us another present - a wrecked car. Twindada's car was hit from behind coming home on a busy interstate. Thank God, he was not hurt, however we can't say the same about his car. It is an efficient car for his very long commute, but it is very old, so we expect the insurance company will just total it. We weren't planning on buying another car right now, so we will be down to one. Joy!
The girls had a good time opening their gifts. They got a lot of stuff, so I bagged their old toys. I figure down the road, I can switch the toys out again and they won't get bored easily. We have Dora merchandise everywhere. One thing that I personally was excited about was the girls got potty chairs! Hurray! We have been using them for a couple days and Peanut has gone twice in the potty. I was pretty pumped about it. Jelly Bean patiently sits there, but she hasn't figured it out yet. I know she will. It's a whole new concept (for me, too), so we just have to keep working on it.
So, that is what has been going on in our world here. Sorry, this is probably my lamest post (rant) ever, but I wanted give you a reminder and announcements and let you all know that I am alive.
Next stop? New Year's! Bring on the appetizers, snack food and booze!
(Okay, this is my house, clearly we all celebrate differently!)
In the meantime, chew on this and I will be back next week with better quality material:
* Don't forget about Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge! I will kick things off on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Also, next week I will give you some more information to help you prepare for what is to come.
* Next week, I will bring you some 2008 reviews and awards to wrap up the year.
* Next year, besides TLC, big things are on the move. I don't want to spill it all just yet, but let me give you one little hint: I need to find some blogo-sized cardboard boxes!
I clearly fell off the face of the earth for the past week, which is like a month in the blogosphere. Where did the time go? Oh yeah, I was shopping, cooking and catching up on everything that I have been procrastinating on for the past month. This year was a little off for us over here in twinfamily land. With our new house still in the midst of a remodel, we didn't really have a lot of places to go with Christmas decorations which is kind of annoying because we have a decent size house now, but quite a bit of it is not live-able space until we finish up our projects. (I asked Santa to refinish the hardwood floors this week, but I guess he doesn't do that kind of thing. Oh well.)
In addition, some kind stranger gave us another present - a wrecked car. Twindada's car was hit from behind coming home on a busy interstate. Thank God, he was not hurt, however we can't say the same about his car. It is an efficient car for his very long commute, but it is very old, so we expect the insurance company will just total it. We weren't planning on buying another car right now, so we will be down to one. Joy!
The girls had a good time opening their gifts. They got a lot of stuff, so I bagged their old toys. I figure down the road, I can switch the toys out again and they won't get bored easily. We have Dora merchandise everywhere. One thing that I personally was excited about was the girls got potty chairs! Hurray! We have been using them for a couple days and Peanut has gone twice in the potty. I was pretty pumped about it. Jelly Bean patiently sits there, but she hasn't figured it out yet. I know she will. It's a whole new concept (for me, too), so we just have to keep working on it.
So, that is what has been going on in our world here. Sorry, this is probably my lamest post (rant) ever, but I wanted give you a reminder and announcements and let you all know that I am alive.
Next stop? New Year's! Bring on the appetizers, snack food and booze!
(Okay, this is my house, clearly we all celebrate differently!)
In the meantime, chew on this and I will be back next week with better quality material:
* Don't forget about Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge! I will kick things off on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Also, next week I will give you some more information to help you prepare for what is to come.
* Next week, I will bring you some 2008 reviews and awards to wrap up the year.
* Next year, besides TLC, big things are on the move. I don't want to spill it all just yet, but let me give you one little hint: I need to find some blogo-sized cardboard boxes!
Friday, December 19, 2008
I'm A Mean Mom
The other day I had a conversation with someone who was explaining to me that another mother was having a hard time with her child. After much frustration, she would just give in and give the child whatever he or she wanted. She said, "I just want to make my child happy."
My immediate response to this was, "You should never do that!" Immediately, we started laughing because of what I said. It sounded harsh and funny for me to even go there, but perhaps there is some truth to me saying this.
Now, I absolutely love to see my children happy. I can't wait for Santa Claus to swing by and to see their little faces as they open their presents. (We are having a Dora the Explorer Christmas - so much of what they are getting is Dora that they will probably not like Dora anymore!) And I love to watch twindada play with them and watch them giggle wildly as he gets on the floor with them and flies them through the air or they use him as a big play gym. I can't wait until this spring when we can go to the zoo and see all the baby animals. I know that will make them very happy and because of that, I will be very happy.
The type of "happy" that I don't like is when parents give in to their kids to the point where it is turning them into brats or putting them on a path to an unsafe or unhealthy life. I don't think that it is wise to always allow your child that extra cookie (for example) every time they ask for one. This type of indulgence is setting the child up for a) thinking they can have anything they want at anytime and b) creating unhealthy eating habits.
I am all for picking our battles. I know that as parents there are times when we just break and can't deal with the whining one more minute so sticking a cookie in the child's mouth is the best option at that moment. I get this. I have been there before and know that I will be there again...probably sooner than I would like.
However it's important to consider a question when it comes to parenting and it is this, "Who is running the show?" If a child makes one peep and every person over 5 feet tall jumps, then the answer is obvious. I have heard of parents who are almost afraid of their kids and don't want to see them cry or freak out. Just watch The Nanny on television. I sit there in amazement wondering how parents could let that child get that bad. I know that all families have struggles and kids go through stages where they are unruly and difficult to correct, but I also know that issues have to be dealt with and not ignored which seems to be the common thread for all of the families on this show.
Sweeping things under the rug and allowing a child to get away with anything won't make them happy for very long because they will get bored. If a child is always getting a cookie, then next time, they will know they can cry and get a candy bar or a car or whatever. Of course, it is okay to give our children things, but it needs to be justified or because we think they deserve it, not because they told us they want it and want it now. When we give a child something they don't deserve, not only do they not give anything in return, but they actually lack respect for their parents.
So, I am a mean mom, proudly speaking. My kids are quite young and already the testing of the waters has begun. Peanut asks me all day long for a cookie. She is very sweet about it and I could really indulge her and give her one each time she asks, but we wouldn't have any left for the rest of the week! So, instead, I tell her "no", but then at designated snack times, she is allowed the cookie she waited patiently for all day. Some parents are probably thinking, "Oh, c'mon! It is just a silly cookie! Give it to her!" Well, I say that withholding that silly cookie until it is time to enjoy it is far better and tastier than the 10 cookies she would possibly shovel into her mouth all day. And it is far better for me and twindada that she understands there are rules and we expect her to follow them.
It isn't a perfect science especially with very young children. They are by the very nature of being babies the most egocentric beings on this planet. They truly believe that the world revolves around them. No other child or adult comes close to importance in their eyes. That is why setting ground rules for what is tolerated and what is not is essential for a twin parent. I don't solely love Peanut. I also equally love Jelly Bean. What I do for one or don't do for one, I have to do for the other. I work really hard to be fair to the girls and treat them equally as this is an important part of my mission as a mother of twins. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fall short, but I keep a conscious effort to try.
Being a mean mom means loving my children enough to know the difference between the child that cries who needs something and the child that cries who wants something. I really don't let crying bother me too much. I have had many times over the past couple of months where one of my girls has flopped down on the floor for a good old fashion tantrum and I just walk over and make sure that toys are out of her way and she is safe and then I let her do what she has to do. I don't respond or even let her think she has an audience. In seconds, the tantrum is over and she goes back to normal play. No biggie. Life goes on. And she still didn't get what she wanted.
It's working now...will it work in the future? Hard telling...but one thing that I have learned over the past 22 months is stay consistent. If something is clearly not working, then of course I re-direct my efforts to better ways of dealing with the issue. I do consult moms that I respect and ask for advice, ask my doctor (she rocks) and then I remember who I am dealing with and tailor it around that personality type. However if I don't stay consistent enough, there is massive confusion. Children don't "magically" know the ground rules like you and I do. And we didn't "magically" know them when we were their age either. We were told what is expected of us and it became ingrained into our heads to the point that it is common knowledge for us, but to a little one this is whole new stuff. That is why children test and why when children are shown the boundaries respond better than those who are given a free-for-all.
So, again, I am a mean mom. I love my kids, I want them to be happy, but I won't compromise their development by giving into their every indulgence. When my girls are older and someone asks them to describe their mom, I would love to hear these 3 words - tough, fair and loving.
Tough - "Mom was strict sometimes, but she was reasonable, we respected her and know she did it for our advantage."
Fair - "We never had to worry that Mom loved someone more than the other. She gave her heart equally to us both."
Loving - "She loved us more than her own breath. She cuddled us, kissed us and made sure that we knew how special we were to her every day."
I love them enough to know that the proper placements of "Yes's" and "No's" will only help them to grow into healthy, well manner adults.
Isn't that what we are trying to do anyway?
My immediate response to this was, "You should never do that!" Immediately, we started laughing because of what I said. It sounded harsh and funny for me to even go there, but perhaps there is some truth to me saying this.
Now, I absolutely love to see my children happy. I can't wait for Santa Claus to swing by and to see their little faces as they open their presents. (We are having a Dora the Explorer Christmas - so much of what they are getting is Dora that they will probably not like Dora anymore!) And I love to watch twindada play with them and watch them giggle wildly as he gets on the floor with them and flies them through the air or they use him as a big play gym. I can't wait until this spring when we can go to the zoo and see all the baby animals. I know that will make them very happy and because of that, I will be very happy.
The type of "happy" that I don't like is when parents give in to their kids to the point where it is turning them into brats or putting them on a path to an unsafe or unhealthy life. I don't think that it is wise to always allow your child that extra cookie (for example) every time they ask for one. This type of indulgence is setting the child up for a) thinking they can have anything they want at anytime and b) creating unhealthy eating habits.
I am all for picking our battles. I know that as parents there are times when we just break and can't deal with the whining one more minute so sticking a cookie in the child's mouth is the best option at that moment. I get this. I have been there before and know that I will be there again...probably sooner than I would like.
However it's important to consider a question when it comes to parenting and it is this, "Who is running the show?" If a child makes one peep and every person over 5 feet tall jumps, then the answer is obvious. I have heard of parents who are almost afraid of their kids and don't want to see them cry or freak out. Just watch The Nanny on television. I sit there in amazement wondering how parents could let that child get that bad. I know that all families have struggles and kids go through stages where they are unruly and difficult to correct, but I also know that issues have to be dealt with and not ignored which seems to be the common thread for all of the families on this show.
Sweeping things under the rug and allowing a child to get away with anything won't make them happy for very long because they will get bored. If a child is always getting a cookie, then next time, they will know they can cry and get a candy bar or a car or whatever. Of course, it is okay to give our children things, but it needs to be justified or because we think they deserve it, not because they told us they want it and want it now. When we give a child something they don't deserve, not only do they not give anything in return, but they actually lack respect for their parents.
So, I am a mean mom, proudly speaking. My kids are quite young and already the testing of the waters has begun. Peanut asks me all day long for a cookie. She is very sweet about it and I could really indulge her and give her one each time she asks, but we wouldn't have any left for the rest of the week! So, instead, I tell her "no", but then at designated snack times, she is allowed the cookie she waited patiently for all day. Some parents are probably thinking, "Oh, c'mon! It is just a silly cookie! Give it to her!" Well, I say that withholding that silly cookie until it is time to enjoy it is far better and tastier than the 10 cookies she would possibly shovel into her mouth all day. And it is far better for me and twindada that she understands there are rules and we expect her to follow them.
It isn't a perfect science especially with very young children. They are by the very nature of being babies the most egocentric beings on this planet. They truly believe that the world revolves around them. No other child or adult comes close to importance in their eyes. That is why setting ground rules for what is tolerated and what is not is essential for a twin parent. I don't solely love Peanut. I also equally love Jelly Bean. What I do for one or don't do for one, I have to do for the other. I work really hard to be fair to the girls and treat them equally as this is an important part of my mission as a mother of twins. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fall short, but I keep a conscious effort to try.
Being a mean mom means loving my children enough to know the difference between the child that cries who needs something and the child that cries who wants something. I really don't let crying bother me too much. I have had many times over the past couple of months where one of my girls has flopped down on the floor for a good old fashion tantrum and I just walk over and make sure that toys are out of her way and she is safe and then I let her do what she has to do. I don't respond or even let her think she has an audience. In seconds, the tantrum is over and she goes back to normal play. No biggie. Life goes on. And she still didn't get what she wanted.
It's working now...will it work in the future? Hard telling...but one thing that I have learned over the past 22 months is stay consistent. If something is clearly not working, then of course I re-direct my efforts to better ways of dealing with the issue. I do consult moms that I respect and ask for advice, ask my doctor (she rocks) and then I remember who I am dealing with and tailor it around that personality type. However if I don't stay consistent enough, there is massive confusion. Children don't "magically" know the ground rules like you and I do. And we didn't "magically" know them when we were their age either. We were told what is expected of us and it became ingrained into our heads to the point that it is common knowledge for us, but to a little one this is whole new stuff. That is why children test and why when children are shown the boundaries respond better than those who are given a free-for-all.
So, again, I am a mean mom. I love my kids, I want them to be happy, but I won't compromise their development by giving into their every indulgence. When my girls are older and someone asks them to describe their mom, I would love to hear these 3 words - tough, fair and loving.
Tough - "Mom was strict sometimes, but she was reasonable, we respected her and know she did it for our advantage."
Fair - "We never had to worry that Mom loved someone more than the other. She gave her heart equally to us both."
Loving - "She loved us more than her own breath. She cuddled us, kissed us and made sure that we knew how special we were to her every day."
I love them enough to know that the proper placements of "Yes's" and "No's" will only help them to grow into healthy, well manner adults.
Isn't that what we are trying to do anyway?
Sunday, December 7, 2008
TLC Coming January 4th, 2009!
As previously posted, in 2009 Bringing Up Twins is kicking off "Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge" on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Here are the details once again:
1. Every Sunday, I will post my one new challenge for the week. It will be a small thing that I am either giving up, a habit that I am trying to adopt or a modification to perhaps a previous challenge that needed tweaking (though I hope this is rare.)
2. Challenges will start officially on Monday and continue indefinitely. Even though there is a new challenge each week, the idea is to build on the challenges. Therefore, week 1 challenge continues even when week 2 challenge begins. I am trying to build habits and make small changes that will produce effective results for overall goals.
3. Bringing Up Twins readers are invited to participate in the challenges each week or follow their own challenge. I know my goals may not be the same as others, so if you would like to be a part of TLC, but don't like the challenges, by all means, create your own and go for it!
4. I will share my previous week's results with you all and invite you to do the same. When I post the new challenge on Sunday, I will share my results of the previous week's challenge and any other highlights to past challenges as appropriate. You are free to make any comments about the challenges. Also, if you create your own challenge, I would love to know what it was. It may become a future challenge for me, who knows!
Have you thought about it? Are you in? So, for $19.95 a month, you can be part of this amazing program...Ha! Did I get you? There are NO fees, commitment cards, raising your right arm and promising your first born, nothing. Just join when you want to or read along while I try to make some positive lifestyle changes to get inspired (or laugh at me, it's okay, I am sure it will be humorous.)
So, get ready for 52 little ways to help make 2009 the best year ever! Remember, the challenge starts Sunday, January 4th, 2009! (Hmmm...wonder how many times I can say that....)
1. Every Sunday, I will post my one new challenge for the week. It will be a small thing that I am either giving up, a habit that I am trying to adopt or a modification to perhaps a previous challenge that needed tweaking (though I hope this is rare.)
2. Challenges will start officially on Monday and continue indefinitely. Even though there is a new challenge each week, the idea is to build on the challenges. Therefore, week 1 challenge continues even when week 2 challenge begins. I am trying to build habits and make small changes that will produce effective results for overall goals.
3. Bringing Up Twins readers are invited to participate in the challenges each week or follow their own challenge. I know my goals may not be the same as others, so if you would like to be a part of TLC, but don't like the challenges, by all means, create your own and go for it!
4. I will share my previous week's results with you all and invite you to do the same. When I post the new challenge on Sunday, I will share my results of the previous week's challenge and any other highlights to past challenges as appropriate. You are free to make any comments about the challenges. Also, if you create your own challenge, I would love to know what it was. It may become a future challenge for me, who knows!
Have you thought about it? Are you in? So, for $19.95 a month, you can be part of this amazing program...Ha! Did I get you? There are NO fees, commitment cards, raising your right arm and promising your first born, nothing. Just join when you want to or read along while I try to make some positive lifestyle changes to get inspired (or laugh at me, it's okay, I am sure it will be humorous.)
So, get ready for 52 little ways to help make 2009 the best year ever! Remember, the challenge starts Sunday, January 4th, 2009! (Hmmm...wonder how many times I can say that....)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge (TLC)!
Do you need a little "TLC" next year? Are you ready to make resolutions for 2009 and are hoping you can keep them? Are you optimistic that next year just HAS to be better than this year?
I think there are a lot of people that are going through tough times right now. Some people will attempt to make New Year's resolutions while others will say, "Why bother? I never keep them anyway!"
No matter what camp you fall into when it comes to New Year's resolutions, allow me to give you a third, intriguing option. For about two months, I have been pondering a way to kick 2009 off with smart, healthful decisions and making changes to my life that will help me to be the best version of myself. Then it occurred to me that if I chronicle this journey, I would put myself out there thus making it REALLY difficult to slough off. Well, I am all about a little self-inflicted pain.
Then I thought, "Wow, if I post my journey, maybe others will want to come along for the ride."
And that is where you come in.
I am not suggesting that my loyal readers NEED to make any changes, by all means, I already know you are all perfect because you have impeccable tastes seeing as you read my blog. (Tee Hee) I just know as mothers we are quite the busy folk and usually we are the last people that we tend to take care of between the husbands and the children. I have not taken care of myself the way that I need to do for a very long time and I am ready for a change.
I am also not suggesting we come up with a list of New Year's resolutions and all of us try to muddle through them until we fail about early February. Personally, I think that resolutions are a joke and usually people bite off way more than they can chew and are destined to fail. I know that I have purchased a many gym memberships in January and by February, I never take out my gym member card ever again. (But, I still am required to pay the monthly fee that I contracted myself into. Nice, huh?)
What I am suggesting is in making very small lifestyle changes that can benefit our health, emotional well-being, our finances, our families, our faith, our hobbies or professional endeavours. Tiny little "tweaks" if you will, that will help to adjust our lifestyles and help us reach our goals in a much less painful way.
So here is Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge (TLC) plan:
1. Every Sunday, I will post my one new challenge for the week. It will be a small thing that I am either giving up, a habit that I am trying to adopt or a modification to perhaps a previous challenge that needed tweaking (though I hope this is rare.)
2. Challenges will start officially on Monday and continue indefinitely. Even though there is a new challenge each week, the idea is to build on the challenges. Therefore, week 1 challenge continues even when week 2 challenge begins. I am trying to build habits and make small changes that will produce effective results for overall goals.
3. Bringing Up Twins readers are invited to participate in the challenges each week or follow their own challenge. I know my goals may not be the same as others, so if you would like to be a part of TLC, but don't like the challenges, by all means, create your own and go for it!
4. I will share my previous week's results with you all and invite you to do the same. When I post the new challenge on Sunday, I will share my results of the previous week's challenge and any other highlights to past challenges as appropriate. You are free to make any comments about the challenges. Also, if you create your own challenge, I would love to know what it was. It may become a future challenge for me, who knows!
So, are you in? Okay, you don't have to decide right now. I will give you time to think about it. And you can jump in at any point next year, I am not going to make you sign a gym membership contract, I promise. Also, I will write multiple posts on this subject throughout the month of December to get everyone geared up. (So eat up those Christmas cookies now! Game over in January! Ha, just kidding it won't be that bad, I promise.)
I plan on starting the challenge on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Mark your calendars!
I think there are a lot of people that are going through tough times right now. Some people will attempt to make New Year's resolutions while others will say, "Why bother? I never keep them anyway!"
No matter what camp you fall into when it comes to New Year's resolutions, allow me to give you a third, intriguing option. For about two months, I have been pondering a way to kick 2009 off with smart, healthful decisions and making changes to my life that will help me to be the best version of myself. Then it occurred to me that if I chronicle this journey, I would put myself out there thus making it REALLY difficult to slough off. Well, I am all about a little self-inflicted pain.
Then I thought, "Wow, if I post my journey, maybe others will want to come along for the ride."
And that is where you come in.
I am not suggesting that my loyal readers NEED to make any changes, by all means, I already know you are all perfect because you have impeccable tastes seeing as you read my blog. (Tee Hee) I just know as mothers we are quite the busy folk and usually we are the last people that we tend to take care of between the husbands and the children. I have not taken care of myself the way that I need to do for a very long time and I am ready for a change.
I am also not suggesting we come up with a list of New Year's resolutions and all of us try to muddle through them until we fail about early February. Personally, I think that resolutions are a joke and usually people bite off way more than they can chew and are destined to fail. I know that I have purchased a many gym memberships in January and by February, I never take out my gym member card ever again. (But, I still am required to pay the monthly fee that I contracted myself into. Nice, huh?)
What I am suggesting is in making very small lifestyle changes that can benefit our health, emotional well-being, our finances, our families, our faith, our hobbies or professional endeavours. Tiny little "tweaks" if you will, that will help to adjust our lifestyles and help us reach our goals in a much less painful way.
So here is Twinmama's Lifestyle Challenge (TLC) plan:
1. Every Sunday, I will post my one new challenge for the week. It will be a small thing that I am either giving up, a habit that I am trying to adopt or a modification to perhaps a previous challenge that needed tweaking (though I hope this is rare.)
2. Challenges will start officially on Monday and continue indefinitely. Even though there is a new challenge each week, the idea is to build on the challenges. Therefore, week 1 challenge continues even when week 2 challenge begins. I am trying to build habits and make small changes that will produce effective results for overall goals.
3. Bringing Up Twins readers are invited to participate in the challenges each week or follow their own challenge. I know my goals may not be the same as others, so if you would like to be a part of TLC, but don't like the challenges, by all means, create your own and go for it!
4. I will share my previous week's results with you all and invite you to do the same. When I post the new challenge on Sunday, I will share my results of the previous week's challenge and any other highlights to past challenges as appropriate. You are free to make any comments about the challenges. Also, if you create your own challenge, I would love to know what it was. It may become a future challenge for me, who knows!
So, are you in? Okay, you don't have to decide right now. I will give you time to think about it. And you can jump in at any point next year, I am not going to make you sign a gym membership contract, I promise. Also, I will write multiple posts on this subject throughout the month of December to get everyone geared up. (So eat up those Christmas cookies now! Game over in January! Ha, just kidding it won't be that bad, I promise.)
I plan on starting the challenge on Sunday, January 4th, 2009. Mark your calendars!
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