From the "Looking Back" Series...
From my experience with carrying twins, I had more than my fair share of ultrasounds throughout the entire pregnancy. I had three just during the first trimester and few more during the second trimester and then an ultrasound every other week after 27 weeks until I delivered. Yeah, I was scanned a ton!!
So with all these ultrasounds bring up a big question...did I want to find out what I was having? I certainly had the opportunity a million times to ask the ultrasound tech to take a peek and let us know. I knew that they knew and they knew that I knew that they knew. But every time we had to remind them and the doctors and nurses, "We don't want to know." And it didn't matter if we even tried to peek to see what we were having, who can really see what is going on on the screen anyway? I mean, my husband actually admitted looking and said he had no clue what was going on. Once in a while you can make out a head or an arm..or is that a leg...who knows.
Many people thought we were crazy for not finding out. Certainly there are advantages for finding out the sex of a baby. I know many people who decided to find out so they could plan for the arrival with gender specific clothing, deciding on a name and decorating the nursery. There has to be comfort in talking to the little one still in the belly and calling them by their new name.
Possibly there is a comfort in knowing the sex of the baby simply for preparing for that particular sex. I suppose if someone had 5 daughters and then found out they were having a boy, this would change things up a bit. And of course instead of having either a boy or a girl, we had three possible outcomes since we were having twins. So people were astounded when they would ask what we were having and I would simply say, "We are having twins." Many people would wait for elaboration, but I wouldn't give it. Because I didn't know. At least I had an answer, right? But when anyone found out that we chose not to have this information released to us, they would look at us like we were insane. "You don't know? I would just have to know!"
Why? I mean, really, why? I listed the possible advantages above for finding out, but really who cares about that stuff? For us it was a personal decision to not find out and I don't put down anyone who decides to go for it. But those things just didn't justify for us taking a peek early on.
There are so many things in this world that come to us instantaneously - the Internet is a good example. If I need to know something right now, I Google it. Bam, there is my answer. My husband and I wanted to be surprised. We decided that waiting until our little ones came into the world was the perfect time to find out what we were having. And I can honestly tell you that I wouldn't have done it any other way. If we are ever blessed with more children, I wouldn't find out with them either. The moment I saw my babies was special by all means, but discovering that we had two little girls when they entered the world, well, that was amazing, surreal and the most awestruck I have ever been. Try it out sometime, it is worth the wait, I promise!
So when all the "planners" out in the world ask me how we could prepare for the arrival of twins without knowing what they were, this is my answer: Yellow, green, red, white and orange are all colors too. Little girls can wear blue and well, little boys can wear pink at home when Dad isn't there. So, don't worry about clothing! Most people I know when they had baby showers or received gifts prior to the arrival of the baby always say they receive clothing up to 6 months and don't have much at all in larger sizes. So, never fear. You will be shopping for your little one before you know and can buy the frilly dresses or dinosaur T-shirts until your heart's content. Additionally, remember that after having the little ones, people will want to come see them and many people will bring a gift and that gift you can bet will be the pink or blue that fits your family.
When looking back at the times I laid on the ultrasound table, having my belly covered in goop and squinting at the party going on in my belly, I am proud that we held out. It could have been so easy to find out...well, kind of, we would have had to ask though.