If only I was a perfect parent and have made all the right decisions. Life would have been so much easier for the past 20 months. Seriously. I probably would have more time and less frustration. I would have done things right the first time and the series of trial and error that has occurred throughout these first months of parenthood would have been unnecessary. I would have known exactly what my babies needed. I would have known how to fix a dilemma or maybe it wouldn't have occurred at all. Dare to dream, huh?
But as we all know, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. I have met people who have extensive experience with children who once become parents couldn't believe how unprepared they really were for the life change. If only those little babies came with a handbook, right? If only it was required that all people get a degree in child development before they have one. Well, since that doesn't happen and I am not even convinced the most educated person would still make the best decisions when they are sleep deprived and overwhelmed, trial and error it is!
So, what things have I learned the hard way? Let me provide you with a list of "Doh!" moments.
1. Do not assume that applesauce with cinnamon or ranch dressing is harmless. It will burn their skin.
2. Do not assume the mobile child who is only in a diaper won't take it off. Learned this one the hard way and the carpet paid the price.
3. Do not assume if you like something that your children will like it too. Hello, chocolate chip cookies?? They must have been switched birth!
4. Do not assume just because you give in and give your child something that they really shouldn't be playing with that they will understand that now you must take it away because it is a bad idea. (Plastic water bottles are very entertaining, but mine BIT through it. Wild animals!)
5. Do not assume that laughing at a bad behavior isn't going keep that behavior coming back again and again. If it ain't cute at 5, it ain't cute now!
6. Do not assume that two toys that are exactly the same have the same value. Your twins will let you know which one is worth more.
7. Do not assume that your children will eat all their meal especially if you give them a huge sippy cup of whole milk ahead of time. Enough said.
8. Do not assume that your children could possibly be too full from drinking all that milk and not eating their meal to have a cookie. There is a special compartment in the stomach just for cookies. Just not the chocolate chip kind.
9. Do not assume just because your children can't say a word doesn't mean they don't know what you are talking about.
10. Do not assume one of your twins won't run off with the dirty diaper that you just took off from the other twin and try to do who knows what with it. (ewww....)