Ever bit off more than you can chew? Does it ever feel like life is flying by because you are too busy doing the laundry and washing dishes to notice? Well, I am officially here to say that I have apparently blacked out recently because I cannot believe it is mid-October and we have been living in our house now for over a month. Where did this chunk of my life go?
This is really concerning for me because if I didn't blog, I don't think I would know what day it was. (The kind blogspot people put the date on each of my posts.) Sometimes I will freak out and run to my dear husband and go, "What is the day??" He will usually reply with some specific calendar date and then I shake my head furiously and say, "No, I don't care about the date, just tell me the day! Is it Monday or Wednesday or Saturday?" He will raise his eyebrows and go, "It's Thursday..." in his slow, what-is-your-problem type voice.
See what I mean? I am blacking out! And I think I know what the culprits are that are causing me to lose sections of my life.
First and foremost, the moment I conceived my sweet twin girls, a huge portion of my brain cells died instantly. I might have been known as a "scatterbrain" in the past by some, but let me tell you, it got significantly worse. Now I don't notice my mommybrain because I have adapted to it, but my husband points out things from time to time.
After the girls were born, life completely turned upside down and the endless diaper changes, feedings, soothings, bathings, clothing changes and every other little thing that you have to do to prepare for all these things (bottle washing, formula preparation, laundry, etc.) made the time fly by. (I would have to say there were times in the first few months that I probably wouldn't have been able to say if it was morning or night.)
Fast forward a bit and as chief operating officer of my household, I am responsible for everything that goes on inside of it with the exception of the remodeling projects, snow removal and trash. (A twinmama has the draw a line in the sand somewhere...) However the remaining responsibilities are enough for a team of ten much less one person who also has to still do quite a lot for 20 month old twins.
Oh, did I tell you I work, too? Yep, once the girls go to bed, I am up working two telecommute positions. And three days a week I babysit. Sooooooo.....
Okay, so there are a ton of us out there that have more on our plates than we can handle right now. This post is not a sob story of my life and I am not asking for sympathy. My situation is the way it is because I have had to make these sacrifices so I can stay home with my kids and I wouldn't change it for anything. I love the time I am spending with them. And it took a children's show for me to find this perspective.
The other day the girls were watching "It's a Big Big World". Okay, fine! I was watching Snook and the girls were playing and occasionally looking up when he started singing. After all, the sloth cracks me up because he is a little too mellow if you catch my drift. But anywhoo...
One of the characters was busy running around trying to get a list of chores done and Snook tells her to stop and smell the flowers. If only she would slow down and take a break here and there, then she would be able to handle everything that was on her plate.
Ha! I shook my head in disgust. That monkey doesn't KNOW what a full plate is all about. And Snook! Well, Snook doesn't know what he is talking about because he is a sloth and they are lazy and is this really helpful to children? Shouldn't we be more honest and tell them that life is full of responsibility and sacrifice and they better enjoy playing because the party is over when you grow up and become a parent! (Cynical, huh?)
After my mental rant, I looked down at the girls and watched them playing. Jelly Bean was pushing buttons on a toy to make it play music while she danced along. Peanut was sitting studying her favorite book - a board book of colored pictures of animals. They were happy and content, doing what they loved.
Then it finally occurred to me. I am doing what I love, too. Every time I wash a dish, do a load of laundry, log in an hour of work, change a diaper, I am doing what I love. It isn't the actual activity that makes me jump for joy, but why I am doing that activity. Everything I do is for my family. My plate is full, but it is full of purpose.
So, I slid off the couch and sat next to Peanut and hugged her. I motioned for Jelly Bean to come to me and she ran into my lap giggling. I cuddled both of my daughters and kissed the tops of their heads catching the fragrance of shampoo in their hair. Finally I got it. Sometimes you really do have to stop and smell the flowers.