A few weeks ago, I hit a wall. A very large, probably brick, no wait...CONCRETE WITH STEEL REINFORCEMENTS wall. It kind of hurt. After rubbing the bump on my head, I realized that I just couldn't do it all anymore and had to throw something overboard for a time to get my priorities realigned. Guess what that was? You got it...I ditched the bloggy world.
Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't break up with you all! I really do love you all very much, but this twinmama was spread pretty thin and I had to figure out my schedule. Just like most moms, I have God to glorify, daughters to raise, a husband to love, a house to clean, family and friends' relationships to nurture and a job to work. That doesn't leave much "me" time at all.
So, you can say, that my plate cracked. I loaded it and loaded it and finally it couldn't withstand anymore weight.
Blogging has become one of my favorite hobbies. I enjoy writing very much and being able to chronicle my twin girls' lives is something that I really cherish.
Recently, I learned about a young mother who lost her life after being sick for awhile. I did not know her, but a friend of mine did. I was made aware that she had a blog of her own. As I visited her blog to find out more about her. I discovered she wrote and photographed her little boy's life with enthusiasm and introspect. I looked at her pictures and the sweet captions she wrote about her precious son and I cried.
Her son has the most precious gift in the world. He will always know how his mother felt about him. He knows because he can read it for himself. She took the time to journal his experiences. Experiences that he won't remember since he is so young, but he can see with his own eyes and not rely on someone else to try to recall to him.
A mother remembers details that even a father could never begin to remember. Why? Simply put, women are more detailed and mothers study their children. We have this insatiable need to count every hair of our precious babies in amazement. We get it honestly. In Matthew 10:30, it says, "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered." God knows every detail of each one of his children and I believe that He builds this desire in mothers, too.
As I wiped away my tears, it occurred to me that I really missed writing in my blog. I appreciate everyone who is reading my blog and I enjoy reading all of your blogs, too, but what I miss is writing about my favorite subject in the world! I want my children to know that I am watching them and taking notes on this fleeting thing called childhood. I want them to know, should anything ever happen to me, that I paid attention. They need to know that everything they do is of significance. And most important of all, they need to know how much I love them.
So, that old broken plate of mine? I threw it out. Time to re-prioritize.
4 comments:
Right on! Thank you for articulating what I'm thinking but don't know how to say!
I totally agree with you that God put the desire to study their children into the hearts of mothers. I don't understand why a full-time wife and mother is so under-valued by society, and the bond between a mother and her family, which is meant to be a sacred and cherished thing is looked upon as "SUBSERVIENCE." Motherhood is passion and motherhood is power, moreover, Godly Motherhood is priceless.
I'm so glad you're back as I always enjoy your warm, positive thoughts about your children. Your posts often remind me that I need to slow down and get my priorities straight!!!
Ok, make me cry already...sniff. I can so relate to all that you said. I feel my time with my girls now is so limited. I hope and pray I am breathing into them the life I want them to remember. I pray that I am teaching them and modeling for them the importance of their relationship with their Lord, and doing it well. I sob over every milestone, its all happening way too fast. I don't know what else to do but soak it in..every second of it.
I love this post, you explained all of those mommy instincts so very very well.
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