Ever heard the story about the church with the windows that continued to break? The church suffered vandals and storms to see the beautifully colored windows of the building destroyed each time. Finally, the church couldn't afford anymore new windows as their treasury had run dry. Distraught, the pastor and elders of the church thought they would be forced to close the doors since it wasn't suitable for usage without windows to block the elements of the weather. That is, until one person began picking up the shattered pieces laying all over the floor and began fitting those colored shards of glass together into something more beautiful than the congregation had ever seen...a stained glass window.
That is how I feel my family's life is like right now. We have been trying very hard to move in to our new home, get settled, baby proof so the girls can enjoy where they are living, remodel, start new jobs, etc. Just when we think we have repaired our "windows" some sort of oppressive force comes and shatters them. And as hard as we are trying, these issues have made it very difficult and stressful for everyone involved.
Last week, it was the wind. It whipped through the Midwest like a bully wreaking havoc on homes, personal property and trees. Hundreds of thousands of people were without power and we were amongst this lucky bunch. Like I posted earlier, we were forced to stay with family until we regained power and thus this put us back many days without making progress on our new living arrangement.
Once moved in, we began to get settled, but quickly our lives have changed again as I am now babysitting. On Friday, our new little one came and now that is a process of socializing three very young children who believe that only they should be the center of my universe. He is twelve months old and since my girls are nineteen months old it is definitely a challenge, but we are working hard to make it work.
The following day, my daughter, Jelly Bean, began throwing up and didn't stop until Sunday morning. Right when she stopped throwing up, Peanut started. It was a great time. At one point in the middle of the night, as I was frantically trying to find clean clothes & blankets, she began saying, "Sorry....Sorry..." (I was saying it to her as I was rocking her because she was crying from being sick so much, but to hear your child say it back after they have thrown up, well, it broke my heart.)
Finally by that evening the girls seem to be better, but then my husband & I came down with the nasty little bug and have both barely eaten since Sunday. Fortunately for the girls although the symptoms were harsh, it ended quickly. The adult version is nausea, weakness and lasts forever.
Crack, crack! Windows breaking everywhere. When can we catch a break? What is this adversity that seems to be upon us right now? Why isn't this move working out the way that we expected?
Well, I have a theory. I have been trying to do it alone. I haven't sought the help of the one source that controls everything and can provide me and my family the protection that it needs. I haven't been relying on God to handle everything and calm my heart when things don't go the way that I planned. God's plan is perfect and I haven't allowed Him to do His work in my life and in my family's lives.
So what do I do with all these broken pieces? Do I give it all up and run back to my old life? I have to walk away, but only to let God in to put the pieces back together. He knows there is hope laying all around me. Right now, the pieces are up in the air, floating around like small promises of a life that will come together. And if I let the Master Craftsman do His job arranging them, then I know the result will be simply breathtaking.