Our Bathtime Routine

Ever wonder what it is like to give two monkeys a bath at the same time? Well, let me give you a peek into how it all goes down...

Me: "It's bathtime, let's go take a bath, girls."
Peanut: "Baf! Baf"
Jelly Bean: "BAAAAAF!" (As she runs around the playroom.)

Creak...I open the door to the baby gate to let out the wild animals. Two babies practically knock me over trying to get through the entrance way. One baby runs into the kitchen. The other baby runs into the living room. These locations are in opposite directions. I run for the baby in the kitchen (it seems to be the most dangerous place between the two without supervision). I scoop up the Peanut who shrieks thinking we are playing a game.

In the meantime, Jelly Bean has now left the living room and has run down the hallway into one of the bedrooms. (Here is a good time to mention that we are in the middle of remodeling the living room and bedrooms, these are no places for babies.) I hustle as fast as I can through the maze of boxes and clutter looking for her. As I locate the runaway, she is standing in the middle of their future bedroom and shrieks, too. This time it is quite loud because there are hardwood floors in there and no furniture. Echos all around.

Me: "C'mon, Jelly Bean!" I grab her hand and lead her to the bathroom while Peanut is now in chorus with her sister trying to match her soprano squeaks grinning ear to ear.

Inside the bathroom, I am able to close the door to avoid escapes, but now there are whole new things waiting for the girls to get into.

They both run to the toilet looking to swish their little hands around. (I need a toilet lock.) They open up cabinets (I need cabinet locks.) They grab the toilet paper and walk away with it. (I need my mind.)

Me: "Okay, let's get your clothes off so you can take a bath." I lean over to begin filling up the tub. Both girls immediately start splashing the water and giggling as it pours out of the faucet. I get one girl's clothes and diaper off and put her in the bathtub after it is filled. Then I do the same with the next baby.

Me: "Peanut, sit down, please." She has decided to stand up and jump up and down in the bathtub. Yeah.

Peanut: "Ha, ha, ha!" Crazy baby.

Jelly Bean: "Sissy." She points to her maniacal sister who has decided to not listen to me and has continued to jump up and down. I pick Peanut up and sit her back in the tub and then put Jelly Bean in with her.

Me: "Girls, sit down." Now both babies are participating in this activity. I sit them both down and now have kicked the bathing process into high gear so we can get out of there. I wash their hair and scrub their crusty little bodies. To rinse, I turn the water back on and fill up a bath cup. Both girls go back to the faucet giggling at the running water. Apparently, running water is funny. I fail to see the joke. So, they decide to help me see the joke by pushing the knob up and turning the shower on. Running water is still not funny.

Then they decide to finally obey me, but instead of sitting and being good, now Peanut is swimming in the bath tub and drinking the water like a whale.

Me: "Oooh...Dirty baby! Don't be one of those babies that drink bath water."

I have 2 of those babies that drink bath water.

Jelly Bean: "Ahhhh..." (As if she just had a refreshing lemonade. Should I tell her that she is bathing in her sister's filth, too?)

Back to their feet...

I finish up the rinse process while continuously sitting them on their bottoms.

Me: "Sit down, girls."
Peanut: "Sit." She points to me.
Me: "No, YOU sit down."
Jelly Bean: "Doggy! Doggy!" What the?

I pull them out the bathtub and realize there are no diapers in the cupboard. Knowing there is a matter of time before twinkle hits the bathroom carpet (I know, don't get me started. It is on the remodel list.), I wrap up both babies and yell for twindada to come take one. My voice echos through this part of the house (hardwood floors, no furniture.)

Jelly Bean: "Dada! Dada!"
Peanut: "DaDaaaaa!"

Twindada scoops up Peanut. She smiles sweetly at him like she has been a precious little angel the whole time. I know the truth. He carries her off to get her into her diaper and pajamas. Jelly Bean is standing there in her towel waiting for me to pick her up.

Jelly Bean: "Hee Hee." She giggles.

I am exhausted, but I pick her up and off we go to get a diddy and pajamas on. Almost to bed! I am minutes from flopping on the couch for a break. Twindada and I take the girls upstairs to their temporary bedroom ready to say goodnight. Then suddenly I remember that I have forgot to brush their teeth.

Crap.