From the "Looking Back" Series...
Sunday came and the specialist walked in, examined me and announced more surprising news. "You are now 4 centimeters dilated."
What this meant was because we were only 30 weeks along, if the babies were to have been born at this point in time, they would have needed to be in a level III NICU. This hospital that I was staying at had that. The hospital that I was planning on delivering (and closest to our home) didn't have that and was only equipped to handle babies born after 32 weeks. (Who would think that 2 weeks could make a difference, but in the world of growing fetuses every DAY matters.)
So, there I stayed for the next two weeks. Every morning the specialist would come in and check me and ask how I was doing. I felt fine. I never had any painful contractions, no spotting, lots of movement from the babies, the babies heart rates were good and I was in pretty good spirits. So...why exactly was I still there? I decided to ask him some questions one day.
Me: "So, when could I start dilating more?"
Him: "You could start dilating more today or weeks from today." (Hmmm, quite specific.)
Me: "When do you think I will deliver?"
Him: "Could be today or weeks from today." (Okay, I am starting to notice a pattern here...)
He said all of this with a smile that made me realize that he was a specialist not God. He knew that, of course, and it was just a matter of time for me to figure it out. His job was to keep the babies and me safe for this period of time and then when we were past 32 weeks, I was going home. His job would be done. My Super Specialist would fly off into the sunset to save another high risk pregnant woman in distress. And that was what happened.
On the day that I hit 32 weeks, I was discharged from the hospital. I was still 4 centimeters dilated, but nothing else had happened, so I was hitting the road. I cried as I got ready to leave the hospital and my husband was alarmed. Why would I miss living in a hospital? I wouldn't miss living in a hospital. I would miss the team of people who were dedicated to my little ones' lives and my life. Hearing the twins' heartbeats several times a day gave me reassurance that they were okay and that was something that I looked forward to. I had peace of mind that if something were to start happening that I was right there and other people would know what to do. Now I was being released back into the wild to fend for myself.
I got home, laid on the couch and turned on the TV. Back to the grind.