Our New Pink World

From the "Looking Back" Series...

When my eyes opened, I saw a couple nurses walking around the recovery room. They were trying to talk to me, but I was so out of it at first and kind of confused. Then it hit me. The sheer anguish of pain.

"Honey, we are working on getting your Morphine drip set up. It will just be a minute or two before it kicks in." One of the nurses explained.

Now, I don't know what other people have experienced after C-Sections and general anesthesia, but to have been cut in half, sewed up and awaken to not one bit of pain medication flowing in my body was worse than all the contractions that I went through. I have never writhed in pain like I did at that moment. In a couple minutes, I started to slowly feel the Morphine take over the pain and was able to gain some composure. Then, in a single statement my life changed forever.

"The babies are fine...you had two girls."

I can't write this without choking up.

Remember me telling you how waiting was so worth it? It was worth it for that moment. That moment when a second in time existed between the world of not knowing and having two daughters. I had daughters. I had daughters. I was a mother of twin girls. My life was forever changed by two little bundles of "pinkness."

My husband entered the room and I could see on his face that he was in shock and relieved at the same time. The sweet young nurse who stayed by my side was the one that came running out of the OR to tell him what we had. It is so rare these days for people to wait that she was just so excited when she found out that we didn't know.

Since the babies were born 6 weeks early, they were being immediately evaluated in the Special Care Nursery (SCN). The nurses reported that the girls were breathing on their own, but needed to stay in the SCN for further evaluation and they were little, too. Peanut was born at 6:41am weighing 4 lbs 1 oz and 17 inches long. Jelly Bean was born at 6:42am weighing 4 lbs 6 oz and 18 1/2 inches long.

Did you notice from the time my water broke at 3:15am to the time Peanut was born at 6:41am was three hours and 26 minutes? Yeah, I know...

My husband was the first to go back and see the babies. He was so eager to show me the pictures on his camera phone that he had taken. They were beautiful. I was still trying to recover and wasn't able to get out of bed yet, but was so eager to see the babies. It was hard because they were just with me and now me, their mama, wasn't able to the be first person to hold them. I wish that would have been different.

We finally had a moment to ourselves to talk about everything that had just happened. When I asked him what he thought about having two girls, he got really quiet, shook his head and said softly, "When I was told my immediate reaction was, of course. That feels completely right."

He was already in love with two other women...